Love (Kim Namjoon x reader)

Chapter 10

As part of their usual way of promotion for their new album, the boys were at a music show. This shouldn't have been a problem for them considering the number of times they have performed before. And they particularly enjoyed the more intimate setting to perform for ARMY. But once the pre-recording ended, the six boys realized something was wrong with their leader.

Usually, Namjoon will give it his all when performing, and even rehearsing. He's the type to smile through the pain and dance off an injury. Even when he was sick, he would put some blush on and sing his heart out. Similar to the rest of the members, he holds himself to a high standard as artists and performers.

But for the past few days since his envelope arrived, his mind had been in another galaxy. As per his request, the company had kept everything a secret until Namjoon feels ready to show the world. He was by no means upset about his match, in fact, it felt so right to him, but he was growing concerned that you haven't answered his text messages or calls. Confused was to say the least, he couldn't wrap his mind around why you would react this way. The only explanation was that you were disappointed by the outcome and you wished he was not your match.

Today was the first time the boys saw him struggle to hold his smile, to dance with control, to rap like he meant it. While the song was supposed to have a more seductive and quiet gaze, when he looked into the audience, he was uncomfortably absent. Fans have noticed, and cheered extra hard for him, believing that he was exhausted from their schedule. Guilt was beginning to spread. To add salt to the wounds, for the first time since debut, Namjoon didn't see you in the crowd. Namjoon felt even more lost. During their rehearsal back at the company, Hoseok noticed his flimsy movements and dismissed it, saying that he just needs time. But after the pre-recording and the countless missed steps and cues, he couldn't hold his anger in anymore.

As Namjoon was getting his make-up retouched, Hoseok asked to meet with him in private. "I know what you're going to say." Namjoon began.T he concealers did nothing to hide the dark circles around his eyes. Nothing could mask the face of a broken heart.

"If you know what I'm gonna say then you also know how I'm suppressing the urge to punch you right now." Hoseok warned.

"I'm sorry, Hoseok."
"I don't need sorry right now," Hoseok snapped. "Look, I understand that what you're going through right now is complicated and while I am sympathetic as your friend and brother, I can't tolerate this behavior as your bandmate. Not only are you letting down the team, but also our fans who have waited so long to see us. Is that what you want? Does none of it matter to you anymore?"

"Of course it matters to me," Namjoon answered. "This is my dream. It had been all my life, to make music, to inspire people, to inspire myself." When he looked up at Hoseok again, the tears were burning his eyes. Hoseok gasped a little, knowing that it takes a lot for Namjoon to let down his mask and be vulnerable. "I didn't think it would happen, but I've found something else besides music that inspires me. It's ridiculous, naive, I know. I don't even know if she loves me like that, but I still want to try, I can't give it up now, more than ever."

Namjon knew his friend was trying to control his breathing, which didn't decrease his level of threat. Jung Hoseok was dangerous when he's angry. But he was also gentle. And that's why he dropped his shoulders and hugged his leader. "I don't want you to give up. I'm sorry that we can't help you with this."

"Don't apologize," Namjoon whispered. "I will figure this out."
"Good, that's my leader." Hoseok cheered. "Now let's go, and if you mess up, I'll punch you for reals."

Namjoon laughed, the act felt foreign to him. It was agonizing on the inside. Regardless of his dislike towards the Red String, he thought that once he got his match, he thought things would just work themselves out and even if it wasn't you, he tried to be happy with the other person. He never imagined that things would turn out this way and his heart would remain in this constant aching state.

As promise to Hoseok and himself, Namjoon mustered up enough courage and strength to perfect his performance. The boys were glad to see his spirit high again, even if they know it was just a facade, they will help him through it as much as they could later. The fans cheered once the song was over and they scream escalated once the boys won first place. Being the leader, Namjoon was handed the microphone to deliver their thank you speech. Yoongi offered to do it in his stead, but Namjoon politely declined.

"Hello ARMY, thank you for loving the song and album," he said into the mic. "We'll work harder to make more amazing songs for you to sing along to. " He paused for a bit before continuing. "I hope you'll continue to support us, and if I had done anything wrong, to tell me. Just talked to me, please. I want to hear your voice."

Fans looked around at one another, wondering what he meant by that last part because as far as they were concerned, RM has not done anything wrong. The boys patted his back as reassurance. He was really hoping that you at least love the rest of the boys enough to watch the broadcast.