Love (Kim Namjoon x reader)

Chapter 11

When Namjoon stepped foot into the bakery, he was greeted right away with the alluring smell of pastries and bread. He closed his eyes and pictures himself as a little kid, begging his mom to buy him candy. And being a sucker for her son's dimples, his mother would always give in and Namjoon ate red bean paste bread every day after school. Those were simpler times where the biggest crisis of his adolescent was choosing his starter pokemon. A partner of a lifetime.

His eyes opened, he didn't see your figure in sight. He did find your manager restocking the shelves. She jumped a little as the giant man approached. "Omo, you scared me." she exhaled.

"Sorry," Namjoon bowed. Minji wondered why he was wearing a mask inside of a bakery that was meant to be smelled.

"Oh, you're that guy from before. Are you here for Y/N?"

"Yes, ma'am, I was wondering if she's here today."

"Actually, she took the day off today," she answered.

Namjoon frowned, feeling hopeless once again. You were aware of his promotional schedule and knew he would come here the second he had a day off. He should have gone yesterday after rehearsal, he should have dropped everything. "Ma'am, may I know where she lives?"

Minji was taken aback by such a request. She debated if she should call the police on the stranger. But he didn't seem like a bad guy and that day after you came back from the walk with him, you wouldn't stop smiling. So against her better judgment, she handed him a note with your address on it. But if anything does happen to you, she'll know who to hold accountable.

Namjoon followed the blue path on his navigator. During his walk, he encountered the same row of pink and white blossoms. Some petals fell to the ground, he felt like he had stepped into a movie. Jungkook would often recite the animated movies he has watched, and right now, Namjoon felt like a protagonist. A gust of wind brushed by, picking up some petals with it. He imagined seeing you on the other side of the wind, laughing, stars filling your eyes. He would reach out and touch your hand and feel the sparks roaming through his body. He was determined to get that.

It also occurred to him that the worst could happen and he could be rejected, and at the binding ceremony, he would watch as you break the connection. He would be devastated, of course, but if that was what you wanted, he would gladly be obliged. No matter what, he needs to tell you his feelings right now. At last, his feet stopped in front of your door.

Tap, tap, tap.

You hadn't been expecting anyone right now. If it were your parents, they would open the door themselves. And Hye Jin was with Whee In. Considering your long list of friends, you felt that it was probably the neighbor's daughters, asking to borrow one of your Bangtan albums.

"Hey, Naeun-" your voice got caught in your throat when your eyes met his. They were sharp. Red. Tired. He pulled his mask down and hat off for you to see the full extent of his state. Your heart began to tore. He put his hand on the door, to prevent you from closing it, but it was shaking. A wave of relief washed over his body. That you're still here, still breathing, in one perfect piece.

"Why are you here?" you asked. You should have been aware that he was persistent, but you could have never guessed that he would show up in front of your door. But you should have expected it after sending all of his calls to voicemail.

"Do you not want me to be here?" he returned the question.

"You know I don't mean that."

Namjoon bit his lips, gathering his last drop of courage. "Just tell me one thing," His eyes were still holding yours, his lips were dried. His dimples have yet to see the lights. "Did not want it to be me?"

The knot tangled in your throat, "Namjoon..."
"Just answer me!" he yelled, hot tears gliding down his cheeks like streams. Any dedicated fans would know he wasn't the type to shed tears easily. "Please."

"Namjoon, even in my dreams, I never dared to be with you," you professed, opening the door just a little wider, physically and metaphorically. "When I read your name, it felt like I had died and that was heaven. I had always wished it was you and I couldn't believe it was real."

"Then why didn't you answer my calls or messages?"

"Why?" you repeated. "I can't face you now, I feel like I betrayed you in a way." Your voice fell and so did you face. Namjoon refrained himself from lifting your chin up. He pulled his hand back from the door and positioned them obediently by his sides.

"Betrayed me? How would you have done that?"

"Don't you remember what you told me?" you questioned. "That day by the river, you told me you hated the Red String. You hated being told what to do and thought the connection you had wouldn't be real. Then the other day on the phone you said there was someone else in your heart," This time, you tears flooded out as you hid your face behind your hands. "And now that we're a match, I'm only adding to your burden. I'm sorry and I promise I won't hold this against you during our time. You can ignore me as much as you want to and when the Bind Ceremony comes, you can cut our connection."

Namjoon continued to watch as you sobbed. The guilt was back, and eating him alive. He did say those things, and he had meant it. But for a completely different circumstance. He wanted to be clever and rebellious, to be cool in front of you. He never thought you would misconstrue his intention.

Slowly, he reached his arms out and pulled you to his chest. You froze for a second, letting his warmth envelop you. He rested his chin gently on your head, feeling your heartbeat against his. Restless and nervous. Your hair was soft against his touch, and every contact gave off the inviting smell of lavender. He pulled you in tighter to stop your tears and because he needed confirmation that he was finally alright again. "I'm not going to do that, ever," he whispered. "I'm not going to ignore you. I'm not cutting our connection. I want to be bound to you."

"Why?"

"Because it's you."