𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 (𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝)

5. What's Behind The Closed Door

My head flops on the pillow and the rest of my body slightly falls on the mattress. What in the actual hell? I look up to see Sean practically racing to the bathroom like something is seriously wrong. What is that all about?

"Sean?" He doesn't stop. "Sean, are you okay?" He doesn't respond as he angrily slams the door once he's inside. That makes my head immediately begin to pound. What the hell happened last night?

I think back to the events of the evening and am suddenly quite aware of the throbbing between my legs. Sean and I had sex. Sean was the biggest I'd ever had or even seen. I'll be lucky if I can walk after that. I get up from the bed and quickly slip my clothes on before heading to the bathroom, wincing as I do so. I guess I can walk, it's just painful as heck.

On the other side of the door I can hear his heavy breathing. People only breath like that when they're panicking or when they just find out their mother is dead. Both of which I'm familiar with.

"Sean?" There's no answer. "Sean, are you okay? What happened?" Because something definitely had to have happened to warrant this type of response. He still doesn't say anything to me but his breathing hitches. "Sean, you're scaring me."

"Just go." His tone is harsh, like he can't be bothered with me. I'm sure he's probably preoccupied with whatever is on his mind since it was clearly panic inducing.

"Wait... what?" I thought our night had gone well. I thought the sex was phenomenal. Everything about last night had been good for me. What the hell happened?

"I said get the fuck out of my apartment, Monica." His words are blunt, almost cruel sounding, and they hurt worse than I expected. A lot worse. Worse enough to make tears well in my eyes.

"Sean..." His name is a whimper off my lips.

"GET OUT!" His deep voice screamed. He actually screamed at me. I can't help the cry that escapes me. "Monica, I swear to fucking god if you don't get THE FUCK OUT of my apartment..." I pull away from the door automatically covering the sob that comes out of my mouth. I snatch my purse off the table and quickly leave his apartment.

I'm so stupid. I'm such an idiot. I'm also fumbling with my keys trying to open the door to my apartment. All of those girls. All of those angry girls every single time. Now I'm just one of them but a hell of a lot sadder. I'm sadder because I know better. I've seen him do this a million times to a million different girls. I should've known there was nothing different about me. I'm nothing special. I'm just another conquest to him, just like I knew I'd be.

✩✩✩

I'm staring out the window thinking about the other night with Sean. I haven't talked to him since that last horrible interaction. I've heard him come in and out but studiously ignored any situation that would lead to an exchange between the two of us. I'd watched him leave last night to wherever he went and he still isn't home yet. I know I shouldn't be worried about him but I am.

A taxi pulls up and out of the back stumbles Sean. He looks up at the sky and immediately winces. He also looks like he's going to hurl on the lawn but he continues to stumble forward. I shake my head as I watch him. Don't do it Monica. He's an asshole. I get up and head out into the hallway, not listening to myself. Pathetic. I am pathetic.

Once I'm at the stairs I see him a few steps from the top. Sean is leaning against the banister looking like he's going to pass out. "Sean?" He's clutching his abdomen tightly like he's going to vomit. He's such a mess. I shake my head and go to him, wrapping my arm around his solid waist. To my surprise he actually lets me help him to his apartment. Once I manage to open the door I help drag him inside. I let go of him and look him over. "My god, Sean." I cringe slightly. "You look like death."

"That's funny you say that because I feel like death too." He looks at me and that's when I notice the black eye.

"You have a black eye." Sean looks at me and rolls his eyes like that was the dumbest statement he'd ever heard.

"Yeah, no shit, Monica." He looks annoyed but I'm curious as to what the hell happened to him. Why is he in the state that he is?

"What happened to-" I stop when his face goes completely pale and I'm pretty positive he's going to puke right here. I grab ahold of him and steer him to the bathroom. Sean drops automatically and flips open the lid just in time.

"It's okay," I say as I rub his back trying to comfort him. "You're going to be okay." The more I rub his back the more he begins to tremble. I'm not sure if it's my touch that's making him do so or the fact that he's currently vomiting. Once he's done I help him to his feet. I help him brush his teeth. I even help him get changed. He's a complete fucking mess. "Here," I pull down the sheets on his bed, "lay down."

"Thanks Monica." I nod and pull the covers over him, tucking him in. When I'm about to leave he says, "hey, wait." I turn around and look at him as he continues, "I'm sorry about the other morning. I just... Uh... I have this thing..."

"It's whatever, Sean. If you didn't want me to stay the night you should've just told me." He frowns at my words.

"No, it's not that I didn't want you to stay. I just have fucking problems." He lets out a deep breath. "I just have issues with touch."

"What?" He looks like he's going to pass out but he's peaked my curiosity. "What do you mean you have issues with touch?"

"I have fucking problems, Monica." His eyes are shut now, he's beginning to fall asleep. "I don't want to be your problem." And with those last words he falls asleep.