𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 (𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝)

16. Confession

I stretch out in my bed, feeling an overwhelming pressure inside of my head. The damn thing feels like it may explode off of my shoulders. "Fuuuuuuck." I moan out the word into the room and roll myself over. I blink my eyes open slowly, looking at my night stand.

It takes me a moment to comprehend that my morning masochism isn't sitting where I'd left it. No, the pill bottles I'd left there as a reminder of what a fuck up I am are gone. I sit up in the bed and automatically regret it.

What the hell happened last night?

I start to probe my aching brain for the answers. The last thing I can really remember was going to sit outside with a tumbler full of whiskey. I'd been thinking about Sean.

Sean. Oh god. Oh no.

Images of him slamming a girl up against his door while I was sitting on the floor play through my mind. Her cussing me out and me saying stupid things also plays throughout. Then him kneeling in front of me worriedly and then... and then it all goes black. I can't remember a single thing after that.

I'm going to assume Sean had been the one to bring me inside. I'm also going to assume that he'd been the one to tuck me into bed. A sense of dread begins to build in me as I glance back over to the night stand.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

I make myself get up out of my bed even though all I feel right now is nauseous. I take a few steps and then freeze when I spot the pill bottles. There's two on the coffee table and one on the floor. Did I put them there? I search my brain for the answer and know that I didn't which means only one person could have; Sean.

✩✩✩

After a long hot shower and some water, I'd finally started to feel kind of better. I still look like death but at least I don't entirely feel like it. I'd been able to slide into some jeans and a tee, looking somewhat put together but at the same time not at all. It's a lot like how I feel inside.

I take a deep breath before heading out of my apartment and going directly to Sean's door. My assumption is that he now knows and if he doesn't I can just play this awkward situation off to just a thank you. A thank you for bringing me into the apartment and letting me get my rest; for taking care of me.

I knock on the door and immediately contemplate dashing back into my apartment. I don't though and after what seems like an eternity Sean finally opens the door. He doesn't say anything, not a single word. He's just looking over me critically.

"Um, hey." I say, finally breaking the silence between us. "I just want to say thanks for your help last night. I uh, don't really remember much of it." I grab the hem of my shirt and look away from his intense gaze. "I just uh, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" The way the words came out make me feel like he knows but I ignore that.

"You know," I look up at him uneasily, "for ruining your night with your friend." Friend. The woman he'd had sex with previously and was about to have sex with again, right in front of me. He waves offhandedly like it doesn't matter, like she doesn't matter. Knowing Sean, she doesn't.

"You didn't ruin anything, Monica. Honestly, you probably saved me from making a horrible fucking decision." A horrible decision. Sleeping with her would've been a horrible decision. That doesn't sound like something Sean would typically say. He sleeps with random women all the time.

"Oh." I don't know what else to say to that but I do feel bad he had to drag my drunken ass into my apartment and tuck me in. "Still, I'm sorry you had to drag me into my apartment. I don't even remember how I got into my bed or falling asleep."