𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 (𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝)

13. The Muck & Grime

A/N:
This chapter contains triggering subject matter. Read with caution.

Sean's tears eventually stop, leaving him a tense mess on top of me. I've been whispering words of reassurance for a good amount of time and now the whole situation seems to be sinking into him.

What just happened between us wasn't just sex. No, what just happened was a lot more intimate than any other experience I've ever had with Sean. I can't imagine many other women have had this experience with him, if any at all.

I feel him shake slightly. He's still tense, uneasy, and I can tell something not good is coming. A moment later Sean's body jerks away from mine, leaving my arms empty. When I look up into his face to gage his reaction I automatically wince at the horrified look there, plastered on his features.

His breathing begins to pick up as he glances back at me but I don't think he's even seeing me. He looks like whatever his is seeing is going to make him be sick.

"Sean?" I scoot back and sit up but he's not listening. He's backed himself up off the bed and is now stumbling around my room with shaky limbs, trying to put his clothes on as fast as he can. "Sean?" He can barely put on his clothes. "Sean, stop." He doesn't. "Sean, please, just calm down." He doesn't listen as he manages to get his shirt over his head. In two quick strides he's at my door and then out of it.

I stare at the door incredulously. He did not just leave me like that. No. Not after that. He did not just... But he did.

I get up and begin putting my night clothes back on. I tie my hair up in a bun on the top of my head in frustration. With my mind made up that he doesn't get to end things like this, not this time at least, I make my way out of my apartment and directly across the hall. I knock on the door but get no response.

"Sean, open up. Please, I just want to talk." I get nothing from him. I look down at the handle and debate my next step. Oh fuck it. I try the handle and, to my complete surprise, it's open. "Sean?" I say, as I step inside his apartment.

I look around and he's no where to be found. That's when I hear a choked noise come from the bathroom. I immediately go to the door and hear several obscenities from the other side. After a few more unintelligible words are said I hear what sounds like a fist punching a wall.

Yikes.

Not knowing what to say or even how to begin to deal with this situation, I begin to leave. The moment I get to the door I hear a subtle mournful sound, barely loud enough to hear. I immediately remove my hand from the door handle and head over to his couch, taking a seat.

✩✩✩

Nearly an hour later the shower finally stops. I breathe out a sound of relief. I'd thought I was going to have to go in there soon if he didn't come out.

The bathroom door swings open and he walks out with a towel slung around his waist. His skin is glistening with water and he's so beautiful that if he weren't so broken I'd want him all over again. The moment he grabs the vodka off the table saying, "fuck my life," swigging the contents back, that notion is immediately forgotten. I soon realize that he's not just taking a sip. He's chugging the liquid.

"That's not going to fix whatever is going on inside of you, Sean." I say the words as softly as I can but I still end up startling him. He chokes slightly on the liquid and then begins coughing.

"Fuck." He takes a giant gulp of air once he's capable. "Christ, Monica, how the hell did you get in here?" He wipes the residual vodka away from his mouth.