𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 (𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝)

17. Mending Broken Pieces

I pull his face down to mine, realizing the reason he left. These tears and his words are because he doesn't want to hurt me. I think back to the argument we'd had and the words he'd said.

"I'll never be the one for you... there's no way I'd ever be good enough for someone like you..."

He doesn't think he's good enough to be cared for. He doesn't think he's worth it. Every self-destructive action this man makes has a reason behind it. Those reasons are now becoming clear. No one has ever loved this man; at least not in the healthy way he should be loved.

With his forehead against mine and that broken look in his eyes I whisper reassuringly to him, "you're not completely lost, Sean. This isn't completely lost." His eyes close at my words and all I want to do is comfort him. He's so vulnerable right now, showing me a side I know no other person has seen.

He drops his hands down to my hips and pulls my small body into his, pressing me flush against him. One hand caresses me lightly as the other one stays in place. He trembles slightly as I do the same back to him. In this moment it's just us. There's no pretense. It's just he and I being accepting of one another; comforting each other. I can tell it's completely unfamiliar to him and a part of me breaks for him.

"I shouldn't have left you like that. I didn't want to hurt you anymore, Monica, and I just couldn't handle it. It's just..." His forehead presses against mine slightly more, like he's searching for the words. " It's all so much for me to internalize. I can't. I don't know how to. I just don't want to hurt you more than I already have, Monica. I've hurt you."

The pregnancy was both of our fault, not his. My choices were my own. His choices were his own and if there was anyone he was hurting here it was himself.

"Shh." I hush him, then press my soft lips to his. Our lips work against one another's for a moment until he pulls away slightly.

"No Monica. We shouldn't. This isn't..." I lean forward and kiss him again, trying to express my feelings. Trying to tell him that I accept him but he is hesitant against my lips. "Mon, I'm no good for..."

I don't let him finish as I claim his lips for my own but that claim soon becomes his. His hands go to my jaw, his tongue enters my mouth, ravishing me and expressing his need for me in his own way. He kisses me nearly breathless, in a way that only Sean knows how. No one has ever, could ever, make me feel the way he does.

He pulls away one more time, dropping his strong, firm hands away from me as he says, "Monica, I should've been with you. I should've..." He chokes back the words, shaking his head at me like he's this toxic thing.

What he can't seem to fathom is how someone like him deserves comfort and care just like any other person. So, trying to comfort him in a way that I know he will understand, I reach forward and push his shirt up. I let my hands travel all over his taught abdomen tenderly. I continue pushing his shirt upward, revealing the perfection that is this man to me.

"I don't deserve you." His words are no louder than a whisper, telling me that my notion about his feeling of unworthiness is correct. It's not that he just wants to use me, like he does every other woman, he actually cares about me. "I'm no good for you, sweetheart." He leans forward and presses a kiss to the top of my head like he's trying to bid me farewell. "I'm no good. I'm not worth it."

But you are...

"Sean," I move away from the closeness in our proximity so I can look up at him seriously. "you're worth it to me. You've always been worth it to me." As if to assert my point, I bring my hand to his belt.

"Monica..." His voice tests, warning me.

I don't listen to him. This man wouldn't know what was truly good for him if it smacked him in the face and I'm about to try and show him. I'm good for him. We could be good for each other. If he'd only give us a chance; give himself a chance.