METANOIA | TK

Chapter Fifteen

Not proofread!

Enjoy!

•

Taehyung doesn't stay overnight, leaving when the dark settles and, even if Jeongguk tells him he can drive him home, he doesn't want to. They agree to meet for lunch on the following day so Jeongguk finds himself sitting in a nice café around noon, waiting for Taehyung as he sips from a cup of coffee. He's just gotten off a boring meeting and he feels like he could fall asleep any second if not for the loud buzz of voices around him and the excitement that settles in his body at the thought of seeing Taehyung again.

When the said boy arrives, Jeongguk is surprised by himself when he gets up and steals him a kiss, relishing in the blush that creeps on the other's face. For a second he realizes that they haven't established anything and he leans away since Taehyung might not want people to see them together but the other simply smiles and leans back in, kissing his lips softly before caressing his cheek.

"I was just surprised, Jeongguk, but don't hold back. I'm really glad to be with you like this."

They both sit down after and Jeongguk can't help the smile that stays on his face as he orders, not even caring that Taehyung is chuckling from the other side of the table. When he's done ordering, he turns back around, noticing that Taehyung is still staring at him.

"You look beautiful." Jeongguk says, taking Taehyung's hand and kissing his knuckles softly before letting their intertwined hands rest on the table.

Taehyung stares at their hands sadly before he squeezes back and Jeongguk, he really, really, wants to ask what happened but he stops, not wanting to push everything until Taehyung's not ready to tell him.

"My last relationship, my only relationship actually, it lasted three years but we've known each other for a lot more. I thought he was my soulmate, my everything, but I was only blinded by an image I've created of him for myself. He didn't actually care about me like I wanted him too. He was indifferent, never wanted to go out since we were both boys, he used to say I shouldn't daydream about stars and infinity and that I should focus on finding a job to sustain for myself. He only wanted to focus on what he liked, we watched the movies he enjoyed and did everything he loved but he never knew me as myself. I broke up with him when I realized I was sadder when I should've been happier than ever."

Jeongguk listens, carefully stroking Taehyung's palm with his thumb over the table, his eyes searching the other's even if he's not looking at him. He appreciates that moment, a moment of weakness in which Taehyung lets himself be seen by Jeongguk, lets his soul and mind free under his gaze, knowing that he won't judge, that, whatever it is that happened, he'll be there.

"It wasn't a tragic story and I know that there are people that have it tougher but it hurt so, so much. Knowing that there wasn't love between us but the exact opposite. People think the opposite of love is hate but it's actually indifference. Nothing could hurt more than your other half becoming indifferent of you, not caring anymore, and you just keep living a life together because you're so used to it, because it's how you think it should be. It's not. Love should make you feel alive, should be the best part of our lives." Taehyung sighs before he smiles towards Jeongguk, reassuring him that everything's fine now before he starts talking again. "I'm so glad I realized before it was too late. I'm sorry for bailing on you the other day but, after what happened, I'm afraid that everyone will have the same indifferent feelings towards me, that they won't care enough."

Jeongguk merely smiles, kissing his knuckles again, because he doesn't have to say anything else. The fact that Taehyung is there, with him, means that somewhere, along the short path they've travelled together, he's realized that Jeongguk wasn't that type of person. He really wasn't. He hasn't even dated before but he was ready to make so much more steps for Taehyung, with him, if he was allowed to.

"Thank you for opening up to me. I actually never dated before since my job needed a lot of focus and time and I didn't want to get distracted. I also didn't want to start a relationship and neglect it due to me staying over hours in my office or just working too much but I think that now I've had enough of focusing on my stupid projects instead of my own happiness."

Taehyung smiles before he tilts his head teasingly towards their hands.

"Does that mean you're free to date, mister architect?" He asks and Jeongguk chokes out a laugh before he nods.

"Yeah, I'm free. And I'd be really happy to date you, Taehyung. If you'd like to."

The other smiles before doing the same act as Jeongguk, kissing his knuckles softly before resuming to sipping from his smoothie. They don't need more words because their, whatever it is between them, was deeper than a relationship to begin with. It's a connection, Jeongguk thinks, but he wouldn't want it any other way. It's not a relationship based on friendship, but one maybe slightly better for them, one based on spiritual connection and conversations, one based on raw feelings and emotions, one that has united, not their bodies, but their souls.

"So, can I call you nicknames now?" Taehyung asks after a few minutes of them eating in silence, getting Jeongguk's attention.

He smiles, frowning, before he nods, making Taehyung's smile grow even wider.

"Okay, my dear metallic scale."

Taehyung is all smiles now, as Jeongguk puts his hand on his forehead and laughs out loud, shaking his head. "Taehyung, no, oh my god!"

"Why not, my brand new Moleskine Classic Notebook? I know you love these."

Jeongguk can't stop laughing but Taehyung seems to enjoy that, tightening his grip on his fingers.

"God, my cheeks hurt. That was so bad but so good at the same time, how do you manage to do that?" He asks between chuckles, Taehyung shaking his head.

"I think those were really bad too but I'm glad you enjoyed them."

Oh, Jeongguk did enjoy it, laughing until his cheeks hurt, something he's not sure he's ever experienced before.

Their date, because it is a date, ends up with them taking a walk in a park nearby, hand intertwined as Taehyung swings them happily. It's similar to their first night spend together but, this time, Taehyung isn't staring at the sky with tears in his eyes and broken pieces of his heart, smiling as he asks Jeongguk about the different buildings he sees, shining under the sunlight, just like melted gold.

And, really, Jeongguk's never experienced love but he thinks that the warmth he feels every time Taehyung smiles might be the closest he's gotten to that destination. He hopes he can keep walking towards it, just like he is now, with Taehyung next to him and the sun illuminating the path ahead, no more stormy skies hovering above them.