Who to choose {Dylan O'Brien and Thomas Sangster}

Chapter 12-What he feels

Nothing's ever perfect,you know?
Because I didn't know what perfect was,happiness is something I barely ever felt. But it was now,I was too happy. But I liked it.
I wake up before everyone,I check my phone.
Instagram is the first thing as Will has tagged me in a photo. The caption reads 'Sleepover,chilling with the best ones😂👌' It has sixty-two likes. I scroll down past photos from the accounts I'm following until I stop at a photo. It's Thomas with an arm around his girlfriend Zooey,they're nestled together in the park 'My girl❤️' Something about it sets my heart pumping,sets my tummy swirling. That's when I run,out of the living room where we slept and out through the kitchen to the back-garden and throw up onto the floor. I wipe my mouth with my bare wrist and when I see and smell the sick throw up again. Dragging my hair back.
"You okay?" A voice asks. I jump and turn round to see Kaya,she's in her pink pyjamas,scruffy hair,wearing no makeup but she still looks perfect. Why can I be like that?
"Yeah.." I say "I'm so sorry I threw up,"
"It's fine,why did you throw up?"
"Stuff,"
She sits down on the bench and I do the same.
"Are you okay? Look,Alex mentions you,"
"What does he say?"
"Well don't tell him I told you this but he likes you,but he gets worried. He wonders what you're really like,he thinks your different,"
"He's correct, but I don't like to talk about it. But when I'm with people like him,I feel happy,"
"Perfect?"
"Nothing's ever perfect. But your troubles,can't you just forget them?"
"You can't change what's all-ready happened,but I wanna go back. Go back to being happy,"
"Your growing up," Kaya wraps her arms around me "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise,"
"What if it isn't? What if nothing changes?"
"It will, I promise,"

We walk back inside to see Chris,Will,Alex and Dylan are up and packing there bags.
"What's going on?" Kaya asks,taking a bag of crisps.
"Were going swimming," Will says "Chris is driving,"
"I call front!" Alex snaps.
"Hell no!" Will says as they sprint to the car.
We chuckle.
"I haven't got a swimming suit," I say to Kaya.
"It's fine,you can borrow one of mine. I've had some from a couple years ago,I never wore them,"
"Thanks,"
The car had seven seats,Chris drove with Kaya beside him,Will and Alex wouldn't stop arguing about it so they ended up together but they didn't mind. I sat behind with Dylan.
"Is everything okay?" Dylan says quietly.
I nod,as I place my hand in his.
"Perfect..." I mutter into his ear. I see him shiver.

The journey was only like forty minutes but went quite quickly. It consisted of an Ed Sheeran playlist which had us all singing. Then the same song Alex played over and over again.
"you might think i'm crazy
to hang around with you
maybe you think i'm lucky
to have something to do
but i think that you're wild
and inside me is some child
you might think it's foolish
or maybe it's untrue
you might think i'm crazy
but all i want is you"
I expected us to swim at a pool but I'm shocked when the car stops and we get out and grab our bags to see it's a beach. Beautiful with blue sea and yellow sand with shells as the crests of the sea were galloping like white horses. We had our swimming costumes underneath our clothes so we simply removed them and jumped in. I hadn't been swimming in a while,I liked it,mainly the slides. The water was surprisingly warm so I loved it when I ended up in a water fight with Alex,smashing my hands down on the water so it sprayed up like raindrops and landed on me and him. We do this for a while,challenging each-other for how long we can hold our breath or who can flip under the water. Kaya and Chris lay out a picnic which consists of food from the kitchen they collected and the many many leftovers from last night even though we ate tons. Alex and Will swim back to shore but I just stay with Dylan,he's close to me. Our bodies both soaking wet so that water drops just linger in his hair and cling cutely to his eyebrows,I just want to freeze this moment,and live in it forever, our foreheads rest together as he goes in to kiss me,it's light and sends butterflies through me.
I drive back in the dark. The rain pours down as I shiver and huddle close next to Dylan. I check your phone to see a text from Thomas.
'Hey😉'
'Hi💕'
'Still at that sleepover?'
'Coming back now. Still with Zooey?'
'No. Look,can you meet me tomorrow,at the coffee shop?'
'Sure.'

Thomas is there first the next day,we both order a hit chocolate and a plate of cookies to share as we sit against the window.
"Is everything okay?" He asks. "Are you feeling good,"
"Yeah." I smile.
"No I just don't wanna wake up one day and you're not here or you've hurt your-"
"Thomas! I'm okay. I promise,I'm strong,"
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have,"
"I know.. But that's okay. But it's not okay of I lose you-I can't,because you're one if the only people I have,"
"I won't leave you. Never,and I'll do a lot more,"
"What do you mean?"
"I'll do it all Emma. Be mine,"
"I am yours.. You're my best friend,"
"No. Be my girlfriend. Emma,I love you,"