The Apocalypse | The Umbrella Academy

xv.

A man and a woman got out of a taxi. The man was tall with curly brown hair, hazel eyes and pale skin. He held a large black briefcase. The woman was shorter, had a short brunette bob with lighter highlights, brown eyes and chocolate skin. They both wore blue three-piece suits, matching each other as much as possible. The suits reminded the man of a uniform. He'd always hated uniforms.

They walked up to the motel, stopping at the reception. The woman rang the bell on the side. The receptionist looked at them both as if they were insects and slowly got up out of his seat.

"Reservation for Hazel and Cha-Cha," the woman, Cha-Cha, said.

The receptionist had clammy, pale skin with sunken eyes and wild hair. He looked as if he were ill. He walked around gormlessly, and eventually got out one card which was their key.

"Just one room?" she asked, annoyed. The man nodded his head. "Just at least tell me there's two beds."

"Oh, yeah. Real firm," he said. His voice reflected his appearance: dull. Cha-Cha would normally kill him for being too annoying but she was in a good mood today.

"I believe there's a package waiting for us," Cha-Cha continued, her hand held out. The receptionist pointed a finger at her and walked through a door to the back of the motel. Cha-Cha rolled her eyes at his slow speed while the man, Hazel, stood annoyed. The man came back with the package, a massive box with the lid secured on with pieces of string forming a cross. There was a label on it reading 'To Hazel and Cha-Cha'. "Thanks," Cha-Cha said sarcastically, picked up the box, and left the reception, Hazel following.

*

Hazel and Cha-Cha entered their room, medium sized with two double beds. The quilts were hideous. Hazel didn't like that.

Hazel sat on the bed closest to the door, placed his briefcase on the floor and lay down instead. Cha-Cha placed the box on her bed and undid the string with a knife from one of her multiple pockets. She lifted the lid off and inside lay weapons. There were guns, knives, and a picture of an elderly man. "Let's get this Number Five," she said, picking up the picture. She started to unpack the box, throwing guns and knives on Hazel's bed.

"Just a second," Hazel said. He got up off of his bed, knelt by the vent and undid the screws holding the grate in place. He took the grate off and slid the black briefcase in.

"You're supposed to carry it with you at all times. That's against protocol."

"Yeah, well, protocol haven't tried lugging it around all of the time."

"Come on," Cha-Cha said, rolling her eyes.

*

Detective Eudora Patch walked under the yellow caution tape, showing her badge to the nearest officer. He nodded his approval and she walked into Griddy's Doughnuts. There were already a cluster of people around the scene, expected as it was New York City. Crimes were interesting and provided relief from the profound boredom.

She walked through the room and surveyed the scene. Multiple bodies, ten maybe. All in black suits, black beanies and with guns. She shook her head and walked to her co-worker, Beeman.

"What'd you think?" he asked.

"I think... these idiots all shot each other. Any witnesses?"

"One." He pointed to the waitress who was on duty.

"Well, that's lousy luck," she said and walked over to her, sitting opposite her on the small circular table. "Detective Eudora Patch," she introduced.

"Agnes. Agnes Friedman. Sorry. Do you need a last name?" she asked clumsily.

"I'll take it if you'll give it." She paused, trying to drown her impatience. "What happened?"

"It was a slow night. The last customers were this man and his kid. The man ordered a doughnut. No, that's not right. The man ordered an éclair. The kid ordered coffee. I went into the back to get some more change. I saw the truck go past, they drove off. Then, I heard gunshots. When I came back, everyone was... Everyone was, you know..." She paused. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, because you seem really sweet. But, do I have to go through this again?"

"Again?" Eudora asked.

"Well... with the other detective."

"What other detective?"

*

Diego walked out of the back door, looking around at the dark alley. Eudora walked up to him.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "I can explain-" He didn't get to finish as Eudora tasered him in the neck, bringing him to his knees.

*

"How many times, Diego?" Eudora asked, pulling him along by his arm. His hands were handcuffed behind his back.

"Chill out, Eudora," he smirked.

"Don't call me that."

"Right, Detective Patch."

Eudora started to search through his pockets, and pulled out a walkie-talkie. "I'm confiscating this."

"Military surplus. Basically giving them away."

She continued to search, pulling out a fake police badge. "And this."

"Dead cheap. Bought it on eBay."

She pulled out his mask. "This, you can keep." She put it back in his pocket.

"You used to like that, if I recall. A lot."

"Please un-remember that," she practically begged.

"Nope. In the hard-core memory now."

She shook her head and walked him over to a police car. She put him in the back seat and closed the door. "Lord, you test me," she said to the sky.

"I still can't believe you two..." Beeman trailed off.

"Not another word," she said.

Outside the small restaurant-café stood even more people than what there were when Eudora arrived. At the front were Hazel and Cha-Cha. Hazel was holding a vanilla ice-cream on a waffle cone and Cha-Cha was looking inside, seeing if she could detect anything. They mixed in with the crowd even though they both stuck out like a sore thumb.