I Will Never Let You Go (A Maxcer Fanfic)

Savored Every Moment.

The next morning, Spencer went to Emily's office as soon as he got to work. He felt prepared to tell her what happened, but he was also worried that she might think he wasn't capable of doing his job. After explaining it all to her, she told him that she would keep a closer eye on him the next couple of cases. If he seemed off, she'd make the same conditions appear that he had back when he first got out of prison: for every 100 days he spent in the field, he would be required to take 30 days off. It hadn't been the worst thing the first time around; he'd kept busy with seminars, and it would give him more time with Max and Willow. However, it bummed him out if he wasn't out there helping people. Even still, he agreed with Emily and tried to keep his head in the game.
Emily wasn't the only one who had conditions for him. Max thought he should start seeing his therapist again, to talk about repairing his relationship with his dad and healing from the loss of his mom. At first, Spencer objected, saying that he could always talk to her about those things; however, Max reminded him that she was no professional, and although she'd dealt with repairing things with her mother, that didn't make her an expert on the subject. In the end, he agreed, but only to go every two weeks instead of once a week. He was only home so often, and he wanted to spend as much time as he could with his girls, not sitting across from his therapist.
A month had gone by since then, and Spencer was starting to feel better. Loss always hit him hard, so healing from his mother's passing was a journey all its own. Through talking with his therapist, it became more clear that it wasn't just about her not being in his life, but the fact that Willow would never have real memories of her grandma. The time that they'd spent together, Willow had started referring to her as "Guh Guh", which they all thought was sweet. Now that Diana was gone, she would only have pictures to remind her of who "Guh Guh" was. Spencer felt bad that she wasn't old enough to thoroughly enjoy his mother's company, but his therapist reminded him that babies accept love from anyone and everyone, but they know that love from family is something special. She also reassured him that Willow would know who Diana was, and how she was, as long as he kept his mother's memory alive.
His relationship with his dad was even starting to improve. They had started to have dinner together every other Saturday; or if Spencer wasn't home they'd do it once he got back. They talked more on the phone, just about everyday things. Sometimes they talked about how Willow reminded William of Spencer when he was little. Sometimes they talked about Diana. It helped them both grieve to talk about the woman who had such an impact on their lives, while it also helped them bond; not just as father and son, but as friends.

It was a beautiful day out, and luckily Spencer was off from work. They'd planned to go for a walk in their park with Willow, maybe even have a picnic, but first they had to take Willow for her 10 month check up.
She was wearing a light blue, short sleeved bodysuit that had ice cream cones with smiley faces, paired with ruffley coral shorts and a matching bow in her hair. Max questioned Spencer about the duo, but after putting it on her, she thought she looked adorable.
Willow bounced on her mom's knees while they were waiting, saying hi to anyone that looked at her. Once they were called into a room, they undressed her and waited a few minutes until her pediatrician came in.
"Well hello Miss Willow, how are you sweetheart?" Dr Seale asked sweetly.
"Hi." Willow said with a cheeky smile. Dr Seale smiled, looking up at the two parents. "Well I see she's expanded her vocabulary. Everything's going well? She's hitting all her milestones?"
"Yeah, she crawls like a champ, she's always grabbing onto things and pulling herself, we've even caught her just standing up in place wherever she is, although she's never taken a step." Max replied.
"That sounds perfect." Dr Seale said as she went over Willow's head with the thermometer. She glanced at it and nodded, indicating that it was normal. Then she pulled out a measuring tape and wrapped it around Willow's head.
"17 ½ inches. Now if you could lay her down on that wax paper I'll measure her height."
Max laid her down and made sure her legs were straight. Willow didn't seem too fazed and babbled up at her. After Dr Seale made two marks with a pen, one at her head and one at her feet, Max stood Willow up on the table as she measured the distance between them. Willow looked at Spencer and waved her hand at him.
"Hi hi."
"Hi sweet girl." He said, tickling her side. Dr Seale then had Max place her sitting up in the baby scale as it calculated her weight.
"16 pounds, 7 ounces."
"Someone's getting to be a big girl." Max said sweetly to her daughter as she picked her back up. Willow wiggled towards Spencer, so she handed her over to him.
"Alright, so I'll be back in just a minute with the vaccines." Dr Seale before closing the door behind her. Spencer redressed Willow, taking care in positioning her bow. Afterwards, he stood her up on the table and she reached up to pull his glasses off his face. Max handed him her binky and he turned back to his daughter saying "Here, I'll trade you." She accepted her pacifier and let go of his glasses, and he pushed them back onto his nose.
"You look worried." Max said matter of factly from where she sat. She had a knowing smile on her face, probably due to the fact that Spencer's eyebrows were furrowed without him realizing. He looked from Max to Willow, seeing that she was still so cheery, even though in a couple minutes she was about to become a screaming banshee. Spencer had only ever been to one of her check ups, which happened to be one where she didn't get any shots. Max had dealt with her alone all the other times, and she'd told Spencer how it broke her heart to see Willow like that.
"She'll be fine, she always is." Max said, walking up beside him and putting a hand on his back. Just then, Dr Seale came in and they could both see the two needles that were capped in her hands. She had Spencer lay Willow down on the table first, that way she wouldn't see the needles on the table. Setting up two bandaids and sticking them halfway onto Willow's thighs, Spencer held Willow's arms to her chest. Spencer talked to her, trying to keep her calm.
"Hey sweetie, what are all those things on the ceiling? Are those butterflies? We see those all the time at the park. Once we're done here, that's where we're going. We're gonna have some lunch--."
Willow spit out her binky and cried out as Dr Seale stuck one of the needles in her thighs, which made Spencer's heart hurt. She whined a second time when the other needle went in, and Dr Seale smoothed down both bandaids. Spencer picked her up and held her close, bouncing her gently and kissing her cheek.
"It's okay sweetheart, you're alright." Max eased as she rubbed Willow's back. Spencer gave her back her binky, knowing that it was a security blanket for her. She calmed down a bit, but there tear tracks still stained her cheeks.
"Wait, here, go to mommy." Spencer said abruptly, handing Willow over to Max. He pulled one of the latex gloves from the box and stretched it a few times, before putting it to his lips and blowing into it. It blew up like a balloon, filling up the fingers. Max watched him with an amused face, looking between him and Willow to gauge her reaction. She'd stopped whimpering and was more interested in what her father was doing. Spencer twisted the end and knotted it, then handed it over to Willow. She held onto it with both hands and shook it around, seeming a lot happier. Max smiled at her, then at her husband.
"I may have done this a few times with Morgan. The black SUVs all have a few boxes of rubber gloves in them, and so the few times we've done surveillance in them he'd pull out a box and we'd make balloons out of them."
"So you'd just waste the gloves? Did you ever get caught?" Max asked.
"We didn't waste them; we just untied them and only we used them. Whether or not we got caught however is unclear because someone may have found a stray balloon in the backseat once, but they didn't suspect us."
Max laughed and shook her head, and followed him out of the room.

The sun radiated heat onto them as they sat on a blanket in the grass, but the light winds carried a slight chill that caused Max to slip on a sweater. Willow kept pulling on hers, so they kept it off of her, figuring she was warm enough.
Max and Spencer both had sandwiches, while Willow had some cut up peaches and her puff baby snacks. About two thirds of the way, Willow crawled from her spot and started pulling on the side of the stroller. She got herself on her feet and managed to stand there hanging on with one hand. Spencer swallowed a bite and grabbed her free hand.
"I got you Willow. Let go of the stroller."
She seemed to understand him because she let go, holding her arm out to keep her balance. She pivoted one foot until she was facing Spencer.
"You wanna walk? Come on, walk towards Daddy." Spencer cheered.
"Dada dada dada." Willow babbled, before crouching down on the blanket and crawling towards him instead. Max chuckled at him as he pulled her up to sit in his lap.
"She teased you." She joked.
"Yeah, I didn't think she was actually gonna do it. Besides I honestly don't want her to start walking just yet." Spencer said, tickling her sides and making her giggle. He turned her around to face him and fell onto his back, lifting her above his head. He made noises at her, making her laugh some more; then he brought her down so he could kiss her face all over.
"I love you guys." Max said from where she still sat eating her sandwich. Spencer turned his face to her with a smile, and she got on her side next to him.
"I love you." Spencer said, planting a kiss on her lips.
Willow swatted him in the face, knocking his glasses out of place. Max laughed as he shook his head up at her.
"Do you not like my glasses? Is that it? Because I don't think you hit me in the face nearly as much when I'm not wearing them." Spencer told her. She was expressionless, until he tickled under her arms to make her smile again.
Spencer felt a buzz in his pocket and slid his hand into to grab his phone, making sure to keep a steady hand on Willow, who was sitting on his chest. It was a message from Emily saying that they had a case and that they all needed to be there within the hour.
Max knew the look on his face and leaned closer to place a kiss on his cheek. "We better get going. You gotta get your go bag from the house."
Spencer sat up with Willow, slipping his phone back into his pocket. They both stood, then Spencer grabbed Max by the waist. He pressed his forehead to hers and kissed the bridge of her nose. They cleaned up their area and pushed Willow's stroller back to the car, where Max collapsed it as Spencer put Willow in her car seat. The little girl was just about asleep as he buckled her in, and it made him happy to see the small smile still on her face.
They both got in the car and talked quietly on the way home, taking care not to wake Willow as they pulled into the driveway. Max took Willow from the carseat and followed Spencer to the house, grabbing his go bag that sat right by their office door.
"Drive safe, text me where you're going, call me when you land." Max whispered, pecking his lips one last time.
"Of course. I love you both." He said, placing a soft kiss on Willow's temple. With that, he was out the door again, headed back to work. It was unfortunate that he wasn't able to spend the rest of the day with them, but he savored every moment they had together.