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;YOU'RE WITH HER, THE DAY I NEED YOU THE MOST.

"M-ma, n-nasan na siya?" I asked to my Mother who is only crying in front of me.

"I-im sorry anak. I-i tried to contact him pero s-sabi ng Mommy niya nag ba-bakasyon daw kasama si J-jessica" I tried to calm myself from what I have heard. This is unbelievable!.

"M-ma I need him n-now. . ." I pushed myself to speak even though hindi ko na kaya.

"B-but he's now with s-someone, Loren." my Mom said while still crying. Hindi ko na din mapigilan na mapaiyak. This is my last day and I want to spend it with him yet, he's spending this day with his girl.

"M-mom, I know may magagawa ka, t-try to convince him more," Desperatada na ako ngunit si Mommy ay umiiyak lamang na umi-iling sa akin. "N-no, Loren."

"But M-mom, he s-should be with me. . . He should be by my side, hugging me and praying for my life. . .n-not with the other way around." I tried not to cry on what I said pero hindi ko napigilan. I'm the girlfriend, he should be with me while I am trying to retreat my life.

"A-anak, hindi mo na mapipilit ang isang tao, if a-ayaw niya sayo, if ayaw ka niyang makasama. . . Then let g-go, hayaan mo siya." Saad niya ngunit ramdam ko ang lungkot sa kaniyang boses habang sinasabi iyon sa akin.

"M-mom, I l-love him" I tried to calm but my hand can't cooperate. It is trembling kaya mabilis ko itong itinago sa aking likod.

"But, he loved someone, Loren!"  Mom shouted, para bang piniligilan niyang magalit sa aking ginagawa ngunit hindi niya na nagawa. I didn't expected her to shout on me. This is the first time.

"M-mom, I'm the girlfriend. . ." humihinang boses ko at bahagyang yumuko, kasabay naman nito ang pagtulo ng panibagong luha ko. I already can feel it right now.

"You're just the girlfriend, Loren but you're not the one who can make his heart beat. You're not the one who can make him smile. You're not the one who can make him happy. H-hindi ikaw. . ." She said, para bang pilit na pinai-intindi sa akin na hindi ako ang kailangan at ang mahal ng pinakamamahal ko. At sa dulo, ngayon ko lamang naintihan.

I remembered na pinilit ko nga lamang pala siya, I push him to be my boyfriend. He doesn't even loved me. I'm just the one who is loving our relationship and making it exist.

"I-i thought, e-even if I push him i-in our situation, h-he will finally learn to l-loved me p-pero iba ang nangyari." My voice cracked, nanghihina na rin ako pero pinipilit pang huminga para sa isa pang pagkakataon, makita ko siya. "H-hula ko k-kahit makita niya pa akong mamatay ngayon, h-he will not love me the way I love h-him. . ."

"I-i'm sorry, Anak," my Mom is now full of tears, just like me.

"I think t-this is now my farewell, My. I planned this day to spend with him but, he spend this day to the girl he loved. O-oh damn, this is hurts!" I chuckled in tears.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to enterupt you pero oras na po." Ani Nurse na pumasok sa kwarto kung nasaan ako. I wiped my tears and smiled tiredly to my Mom that is now holding my hand tightly.

"Please, fight, Loren. I-i know you can make it. Please, lumaban ka. K-kahit hindi na para sa kaniya, k-kahit hindi na para sa akin. P-para na lamang sa sarili mo. P-please. . ." she's now begging for me to fight kahit alam kong pag lumaban ako ay ako rin ang matatalo at mapapagod. I just nooded to her weakly at ngumiti ng pagod. I don't know if I can survive this shit. He is my strenght but, he's not here so I don't know. Maybe just go with the flow.

The Nurses pushed my hospital bed towards the ICU to do the operation habang ako ay pumikit na lamang habang patuloy pa ring tumutulo ang aking luha. Siguro bukas ay nasa kabaong na'ko.

I have a brain tumor and I don't know how much my brain damaged. Hindi ko na pa inalam dahil alam ko na rin naman na isang araw, nakahiga na'ko hindi sa kama kundi sa kabaong o kaya sa hukay.

Naramdaman ko ang pagtigil maya-maya ng aking higaan sa pagtulak nito kaya bahagya kong minulat ang aking mga mata at nagtatakang lumingon sa mga Nurse. Sa pag bukas nang aking mata ay ganun rin ang pagbagsak ng aking mga luha nang tumambad sa akin ang kaniyang mala-anghel na muka.

Sadness and awful is written in his face. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya na-aawa sa akin gayong ang ginagawa ko lang naman ay ang mahalin siya ng buong puso. Akmang bu-buksan ko na sana ang aking labi upang magsalita nang makita ko sa kaniyang likuran ang babaeng kaniyang minamahal.

I smiled at him bitterly.

"Loren, I-i'm sorry. P-please fight okay? L-lumaban ka! " He said while holding my hands tightly. Napasunod-sunod na ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko, this is the most painful scene in my life. Seeing him holding my hand while saying I should fight while holding hands with his girl in his back.

Yes, I do prayed that he would come for me but I doesn't wish that he would come together with his girl. I know I'm a selfish bitch but it hurts spending my last day seeing him happy with his girl.

"T-this is finally a goodbye, Shan." I told him while my tears keeps on falling. "I would just wish that after this, you will be happy living together with her. . ." Saad ko at tumingin kay Jessica na nasa kaniyang likuran. Hindi niya alam kung anong magiging reaksyon nang tingnan ko siya. "I-i'm so sorry for everything, Jessica. .  . I-i'm sorry for ruining your day. P-please, take a big care of him. I love him very very much. . ." Paalam ko sa kaniya habang nagmamakaawa. Marahan naman siyang tumango sa akin at halata sa kaniyang muka ang guilty sa kung anong bagay. I just smiled at them bitterly.

"Ma'am, kailangan na po nating umalis. The time of your life is running." The Nurse said and I just nooded and the last thing I knew, nasa loob na ako ng ICU, the doctors are now starting the operation.

"The sculp pen! Faster!" I heard the Doctor shouted to the nurses, dali-dali namang ibinigay 'yun ng Nurse pero sa isang iglap, ang buhay ko ay nawala nang marinig ko ang tunog na nagsa-saad ng buhay ko.

*TOOT* *TOOT* *TOOT*

At kasabay noon ay ang pagpikit ng aking mata at ang pagtulo ng aking luha.

"Time of d-death 3:06 PM"

I tried to fight pero hindi na kaya. The voice of my Mom just keep on replaying on my mind. 'Wag mo nang pilitin na baguhin ang mga bagay na nakatakdang mangyari dahil sa dulo, ikaw rin ang mabibigo at mapapagod.’' And this one is to be destined to happened. It's for me. . .  to death.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVES @2020

NONE OF EACH OF MY STORY IS PLAGIARIZED.

EDITED.

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