𝗌𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝖺𝗒. ⌇𝒚𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒊.

십오 ¹⁵

[ ʏ/ɴ's ᴘᴏᴠ ]

Unaware of what time it was, I rubbed my eyes and groaned staring at the ceiling. I took the fattest nap, and slept through practice which meant I had to do it twice as much tomorrow, or either tonight. I probably slept through dinner too. Ugh, and Seokjin was cooking steak, that would've been so good.

I still forgot what had led me to fall into a dreadful 4 hour long nap, but I do remember talking to Jungkook and nearly letting all my tears out and becoming an emotional wreck. But that was two days ago. Time flew, and my nap turned out to be more than 4 hours if it was 2:30 A.M. in the morning. I was awake thinking about tomorrow, right after the shoot, I will be confessing.

Did it make me uneasy just thinking about it? Definitely. It wouldn't hurt at all to get something to eat from the fridge, right? I haven't eaten in the past 7 hours. I told the others I did, thankfully they believed me, but Alex didn't fall through. She hates when I starve myself. No ones up at this time. It wouldn't hurt to practice either. Evie said I nailed the choreography perfectly, but to me, I still needed work.

I pushed myself up, and combed a hand through my hair. I slipped on a pair of slides. Things were a bit blurry now that I wasn't wearing contacts, so I grabbed the pair of rounded glasses beside me, and threw over a sweatshirt that almost hung over my knees. Coffee was being craved at the moment, though it was far to early. But what harm could be done?

I dragged myself down the dark hallway and into the kitchen, not caring about the amount of noise that I made. Once I reached the kitchen, I grabbed a particular white mug, and placed it under the espresso maker. It wasn't long before the mug was half way full, and I grasped the warm cup in my hands.

Then my mind wandered. The day Yoongi had confronted me, and said, 'He gets touchy with you, and I can tell you're uncomfortable.' I wasn't uncomfortable, so I wouldn't really understand why he would act like I should be cautious around someone like Hobi. Taehyung too, he kept telling that I was confused, and that I don't have feelings for Hoseok. How would they know? Honestly, I've known Hobi longer.

I was more than positive that he felt the same, so my hopes of even started a relationship were high, so what was there to be scared of? Nothing. So they can just stay out of it. But, when I told Jungkook I was terrified of being rejected, his reaction was so calm, it made me even more worried—like he was prepared for the situation.

What if Jung Hoseok was my first rejection? If he was, I wouldn't hesitate to take further measures. I don't need to explain at all. No one will know anything, no one will see, no one will care. I'd prefer to keep it like that. I'm use to it by now anyway. I have to hold on to someone or else I'll fall again. Letting go is like talking a million stabbings in one take. Which is exactly what heartbreak feels like.

I kept myself awake till I fell asleep with my face against the counter top, and my coffee mug
still laced in between my fingers.

~

"She's dead for sure."

"Tae! She's just sleeping! Leave her alone!"

"Careful Jimin-ssi, if you wake her up, she'll probably rip your limbs apart."

"Jungkook! What are you doing? Don't poke her face!"