𝗌𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝖺𝗒. ⌇𝒚𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒊.

십칠 ¹⁷

▷trigger warning.

playlist ♡

𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜 - 𝚓𝚔
𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚢 - 𝚝𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐
𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - 𝚝𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐
𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚗𝚘𝚠 - 𝚋𝚝𝚜
𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - 𝚋𝚝𝚜

[Y/N]

You're so worthless. So disgusting. How blind could anyone ever be to fall for someone who can't even keep themselves together. A mess of a life I have. My mind is a harmful mess. My wrists couldn't take much more, almost a horrid dark purple. Dark red, trickling down my arm.

The blade went from silver to red so quickly. Numbness and weakness, two disgustingly beautiful words to describe myself. I needed some will to live, something to think about, but it all came down to zero. I grabbed the jagged razor as firmly as possible making my knuckles white. Pressing it as hard as I could against my pliable skin, this time I could feel the fless ripping. My numbess faded quickly, the pain unbearable I bit my bottom lip.

Just one more time, then I'll stop. But it hurts so much, why can't I just stop? But I deserve this, I deserve this torture. I'm so terribly sorry Yoongi. I'm sorry everyone. The pulsing veins on my wrist almost visible. My skin ripped, pouring out dense blood. It was miserable sight. It was as if I pulled it out from a horror film.

This is the last time I swear—

The screen of my cell phone illuminated, and a picture and contact name filled the screen. Jeon Jungkook. I glanced at the contact photo, smiling weakly at his smile.

"Noona? I called you 6 times today. Are you alright?"

His voice brought me some ease, my empty gaze drawn to my torn fleshed wrists, "I can't say that I'm alright because then you'd know I'm lying."

"What's going on?"

"What do I do Jungkook? I'm getting involved in something I can't even control."

"Noona, why are you doing this? Yoongi—"

"My best friend is in love with him, Kook. And it pains me to see him like that. I couldn't do that to him. I've already done enough."

"But, Hobi-Hyung wouldn't want you like this. Can't you see how happy he was for you? He wants you two to have something."

"How do you know he's not lying, Jungkook? Just to make me feel better."

"Listen to yourself, Y/N! All Hyung wanted was for you to be happy, with someone at least. Let me ask you this, what do you feel with Yoongi?"

"I feel like I'm finally on the last step, like I've accomplished something. I've never done, or felt anything like this. I'm so terrified of this, all going to waste. But, Yoongi is just different. But what will happen if—"

"The bottom line is that you cherish every moment you had with him. You're for eachother, no matter what hardships are thrown at you. You'll fight over the smallest things and who knows, the next thing you know you're hugging it out. That's just how love works."

"What the hell am I waiting for then?"

"He's the one doing the waiting. I can't blame you, you shouldn't either. You did what was best if you want to believe that. But I'll tell you this even if you don't want to listen to me that you're such a beautiful person.  I love you, I love you so much, Noona."