Ripples

Thorns

TW: bleeding, broken fingers, watching someone die, death, and drowning. There is also a mention of the sensation of being hung.
~~~•~~

Athanasia de Alder Obelia was not dumb. She was never dumb. Filled with her desperation to impress her father and gain his attention, she studied and studied until she became fit to become an imperial scholar. However, that was not possible. She was abhorred by the emperor and was, therefore, not given any tutors nor any way to enter the ranks of the scholars.

Still, that's not what mattered. What mattered was that Athanasia was not dumb. Therefore, when she woke up as a baby for a third life, she knew that she couldn't deny the course of events like last time. Surely, this must be some joke of fate. Well, rather than a joke, a game.

If she's going to keep reliving her life, then she has to change something. Anything has to change, at least enough for her to stop going through this cycle. Before she could stop her thoughts from gathering around one idea, it was already at the forefront of her mind.

Baby Athanasia frowned, grumbling gently and swinging her toy wildly around. Surely, if Jennet was favored for her bright and sunny disposition, then that's all that Athanasia must do as well? After watching her half-sister for two lifetimes already and basically basking in her saintly glory, Athanasia was pretty confident that she could do this.

Hopefully

~~~{•}~~~

Smiling so brightly and speaking so cutely was very difficult. Perhaps it was because, with the exception of Lily, Athanasia had never been treated kindly. Maybe, it was because the undying princess was already an adult in mind. Despite whatever reason it may be, imitating Jennet was very awkward for Athanasia and she so desperately wanted to give up.

However, whenever the thought would cross her mind, so would the tight pull on her neck. As a shudder wracked her body painfully, Athanasia would quickly smile again, ignoring the terrified quiver in her eyes. Yes, she must do this. She can't die in such a way again.

Thus, over the years, the cold expressions of the Ruby palace staff began to melt. Instead, they began to dote on Athanasia as she perfected her mask, tearing apart her emotions and desperately nailing a smile on her face. It's all to save herself. It's all to escape the palace.

"It's all to survive."

Still, it was not enough. On the night of her ninth birthday, even as she trembled with fear, remembering the arctic chill that ran through her every time that their faces met in the past, she smiled brightly at her father. Sapphire to sapphire and ocean to ocean, one tumultuous with petrifying fear and the other frozen with disinterest. Claude simply walked away, burning with hatred.

Athanasia cursed his back with all her might, tightening her fists to prevent herself from falling to the ground. She could not, would not collapse now and become even more pathetic than she already was. A strong belief ignited within her, a fierce determination to pull him to her just like Jennet did. If she already managed it with the Ruby palace staff, surely she can do it to

Him?

However, there was one thing that she couldn't add to her calculations. A curse so severe that centuries could not fix the burn. Thus, even as she tried and tried, gathering the affections of every person in her path, she could not garner the attention of the emperor himself. And when Jennet was finally introduced again, she stood alone in disbelief that she could not pull the affections of Claude, no matter how much she tried.

"Really, what a cold man."

Athanasia retreated back to her room, comforted by Lily that it would all be alright. But nothing was alright for the princess, not now that Jennet was in the palace. No matter how much she adored Jennet, Jennet would eventually fall ill again and lead to her execution. But Athanasia simply could not deal with that. For what reason must she deal with that?

Fate is deniable.

And when the staff members began to help her, hiding her from the hateful rage of her father, fate became even more deniable. For the first time in any lifetime, warm hope blossomed in Athanasia's heart. Even as her half-sister began to cling more to her than she did to their father, garnering more dislike for her from the psychopathic emperor, Athanasia clung to the budding rose of hope, willfully ignoring that she was bleeding from its thorns.

The young princess eventually lost her fears and became filled with the thought that she could live. She felt that something was finally changing. Athanasia thought that if even death could not hold her back, then fate couldn't as well. But fate herself should never be

Challenged.

So focused was she on this warmth that she had completely forgotten what she was trying to escape from. When she fell upon the limp body of her sister, face pallid and ice cold, Athanasia screamed. She realized, much too late, that the gears of fate would not stop turning. Yes, death could not hold her back, but it seemed more vicious every time that she lived again.

When she returned to the Ruby palace, separated from her precious half-sister, the staff was a mess. Everyone began to gather necessities, never taking too much nor too little, and confounding the distraught eighteen-year-old. However, before the clock rang midnight, as they were pulling a cloak over her shoulders and a hood over her head, Athanasia realized what was happening.

"Princess, we're so sorry that we could not do better. As commoners, we cannot do more than this to protect you; however, as the precious treasure of the entire palace, we are all working on keeping you safe. Only the palace guards will delay you now, for they have sworn to their emperor, but everyone else has sworn to our princess," Lily softly remarked, pulling the hood lower over Athanasia's face. With that, she took a step back and bowed, leading the rest of the palace staff. Chefs, maids, gardeners, and the likes. They all fell before her, respect and adoration gleaming in their eyes.

The undying princess, the one cursed with loneliness and a series of deaths, bit her lip to pull back a sob. And yet, faced with their love, she struggled to stop the tears from dripping towards her hands. At least, until three maids, the only ones trained in combat, began to pull her away. It was only then that she realized, all of them weren't coming with.

The tears stung her eyes, glistening beneath the moonlight, but she never cried out. She couldn't reveal them like that. And when the palace guards began to realize that they were on the run, Athanasia had to watch one of the maids bleed before her eyes. Yet they simply

Ran.

Athanasia, with two remaining maids, simply ran, ran, and ran. Until their breaths were clouded with desperation, their legs burned with rage, and their hearts beat with fear. Until they stood before a massive ship meant to sail cargo and the palace guards were nowhere near.

"Princess, we must climb up there," one of the maids whispered urgently, pulling the breathless princess up to grab the ropes. Athanasia had never climbed something so slippery in her life, but she gripped it hard, desperation fueling her strength. Even if she had to break numerous fingers twisting the rope in her hands, she climbed as desperately as she ran.

After finally climbing to the top, Athanasia began to believe that she could survive. Relief filled her core, and she felt so immensely thankful for those that had helped her. Despite the massive disparity between her and Jennet, they still helped her. They believed in her innocence like never

Before.

When the ship finally began to sail, rocking gently in the waves, the sense of relief was replaced by elation. Finally, she could live. Finally, she could

Breathe.

Until she was knocked back by a wave, thrown over the railings, and down to the tempérant sea. The air was knocked out of her throat again. Though it wasn't as pressuring as the tight noose, she felt more desperate because she could move. And yet, she was pulled down by her dress and inability to swim. So she simply descended further down, still with the desperation and belief that she could reach the surface.

All while losing her breath.

Until she died and was reborn again.