Ripples

Rubies I

Includes suicide by drowning and being hung and mentions previous deaths, depression, and numb emotions.

~~~•~~~

This time, Athanasia breathed with an embittered fury. She was furious at fate for doing that to her. How could it have given her hope and love, only to have it all taken away by the one that gave it? How cruel could fate possibly be?

That bitch!

Thus, as soon as she could walk, the furious princess ran to the lake and drowned herself to death. She was done. Fate could deal with the aftermath herself. How else could she deal with Claude when she had already felt his love? "How can I possibly live peacefully now that I know what I'm missing out on?"

"If you're going to kill me, keep me unhappy until the very end! You should just give me some peace now!" Athanasia, in a three-year-old body, screamed as she waded and swam. She screamed to the heavens, to her father, from the deepest depths of her core. "Please, just give me back the happiness that I deserve!"

"Damn it all."

However, as expected of being the undying princess, she simply woke up again. Although the pain of drowning was enough to assuage her anger, it simply gave space for her to reflect on the heartache that she was left to bear alone. Filled with desolate resignation, she pulled out her bed sheets and hung herself on her balcony railings. There, as she struggled in the air, desperate for another breath, rain began to fall from the heavens.

"How fitting," the resigned princess mused, feeling her consciousness begin to wane, "that the sky would also cry for me."

After taking her own breath away for the last two lifetimes, Athanasia finally gave up. The princess had lost every sense of emotion and, for this life, she did not care to fake a smile. She did not have it in her heart to care when it would end the same as the other lifetimes.

Did she want her father's love again? Sure, but only to be killed by him? As if. She's numb, not insane.

"Princess, where are you going?" Lily called after her, worried eyes running over the emotionless princess. Athanasia turned, smiling for Lily, and only for her nanny. "Athy's just going to pick some flowers! Athy's gonna be back in a few, Lily!"

With that, she ran to the bushes again, picking up pretty flowers like she did right before meeting Claude. However, rather than trying to trigger the same sequence of events, it was a vain attempt to recreate the scenes that she was so fond of. If only she could feel emotions, to at least appreciate the memories, but they remained still- submerged beneath the lake that she drowned in.

She understood, far too well, that the Claude in this lifetime was not the Claude that she adored. He will not praise her and spoil her the way that her father did. He will not be the one that escorted her to her debutante and saved her from falling off of the boat a second time.

This Claude will simply be amused, but numb like she herself has become.

Suddenly, a rustling in the bushes broke her out of her somber trance. Shocked, she turned with an armful of flowers and found a man as tall as her dad. Red eyes, bright as rubies, stared down at her coldly. And while her dad was as cool as the ocean, this man held eyes as fierce as flames themselves. Was it warm? "No, it burns like hell."

Athanasia took a step back, dropping the roses and trembling in place, because her father was familiar, but this man was not. Especially with his long and unfamiliar black hair, and clothes that hung off of him like he was mage- Athanasia knew that he was dangerous. "But how dangerous?"

"Oh?" The man exclaimed curiously, quickly taking strides forward and grabbing the princess' face. "What's this? You're quite interesting."

Athanasia watched his eyes gleam ruby red, an enchanting hue that she had never seen before in her lives. Still, she felt a keen sense of danger from that man. Even through her numbing and cracking heart, she knew that this man could change something. Whether that change would be good or bad, how much did she care to find out?

"This is the first time I've seen something like this. This is quite amusing." A surge of laughter wanted to escape Lucas, a sense of consciousness entering his mind from its previous deep slumber.

Yes, while numb like Athanasia, he was different itself. As his friend once said, "In a world full of beautiful things, you alone were born empty handed, will live empty handed, and ultimately die empty handed— so pitiful."

Useless, is what Athanasia would have called him if she found out. Therefore, this was the first time that he had ever felt amusement, because she was so intriguing to him. A girl that can never remain dead, always reliving her life as if struck by some curse of time and death. How peculiar. How bizarre.

"I think that I'll watch over her for now," Lucas hummed, releasing the trembling princess' face from his harsh grip.

"Hmm, should I let you live?" Lucas teased, knowing her trauma and how broken she already was. Athanasia simply looked up at him with disdain, withholding a scoff. "As if I care if I were to die again."

"Then again, you wouldn't care," Lucas laughed, twirling his hand and gathering the flowers up with his magic. It was only then that he felt how unstable and weak his mana supply had become. A soft frown grew on his face, and Athanasia began to feel anxious for what he would do next. "Come on, kill me if you will. Waiting makes it worse than it should be."

Her bright sapphires met his pair of rubies again, lava crashing with the ocean in a brief moment of time. Suddenly, Lucas smiled, deciding again to remain by her side. And when he tapped her on the forehead, nearly pushing the confused girl to the ground, he laughed softly and vanished in a puff of clouds.

"What? Now, there's another crazy man?" Athanasia thought aloud, clinging to the roses in her arms. Confusion swirled wildly in her eyes, lingering behind even as she entered the ruby palace. However, when a maid passed by, the thought of the man completely vanished from her thoughts.

Although she couldn't smile as much anymore, since it was much too painful, she still cared deeply for the staff of the palace. They were the first to care for her, and the first to try and save her. How could she not care for them when they had always been beside her? So, rather than giving all of the flowers to Lily, she began to deliver one to each member of her impoverished family.

"This is the least that I can do," Athanasia thought bitterly.