The Will of Two Worlds (Avatar Female OC)

70. Battle Cry!

I stared at Grace's body, aware that her spirit is no longer here, but gone far away, into Eywa's voices. As much grief as I feel for the loss of my friend, I can only hope she is away from the pain, the worry, the fear, and among the students that died in her school years ago, that Sylwanin, whom I never met, embraced her happily.

"Grace? Grace? What's happening? What's happening? Grace? Grace?! What's happening?" I could faintly hear Jake saying, panicked and worried as I looked up and met Mo'at's eyes, seeing the grief in them as well as she met my own. I found it odd, in a faint part of my mind, that Mo'at looked to me for answers. I watched Jake hop up and over next to Mo'at, studying Grace's avatar.

"Did it work?" Jake asked frantically as silence fell and the lights of Eywa through the roots faded, taking the voices with it. I am sure now that Grace's voice is among them. It is fitting, she did so much for the Na'vi, she deserves a place among them. Through my grief, I cautiously thanked Eywa for giving Grace what she deserved after all the work she did for Pandora. I felt Eywa's presence for but a second, like she patted me on the shoulder or something, before she faded away and dispersed over the land to keep balance in check.

I looked up at Mo'at once more in grief before I shook my head, looking down at Grace's body as I closed my eyes, fighting down the tears. I felt like such a failure. All I ever seem to do is fail, over and over. I failed saving Tulte, I failed in helping Tsu'tey, I failed the Na'vi, I failed saving that teacher, I failed in doing right by Eywa.

Now I have failed in saving Grace. I couldn't fix her and I couldn't even give her the strength to pass through the Eye of Eywa. All I do is fail.

Another heavy, near unbearable weight settled on the hundreds of weights over my heart, making me want to break down and cry, to give up and sob over all the lives lost, all the families torn apart and the devastation the Na'vi have suffered through. I knew I couldn't though, I knew the Na'vi needed me to appear strong.

I took deep breath, closing my eyes and fighting down the sobs that wanted to escape, tears in my eyes I refused to let fall as I did what I did best when the pain became too much for me.

I buried it.

I opened my eyes to watch, the pain strong yet I raised as best a mask as I could to hide it, as Neytiri reached out, carefully and delicately removed Grace's exopack mask, exposing Grace's unmoving face to Pandora air before softly cupping Grace's cheek. I looked up at Neytiri's sad face and knew she as much as all of the Na'vi taught by Grace grieved for the lost teacher. Grace taught them English, she taught them about Earth and humans as well as told them stories about humanity.  I looked just beyond Netiri and met Tsu'tey's eyes, watching me closely.

I couldn't exactly name the little tells of emotions on his face. Tsu'tey is good at hiding everything under scowls and glares, under hisses and snarls of rage or annoyance. Yet, the little tells I am seeing now don't make sense. Tsu'tey was worried about me? Why me, though? Why not the grieving and lost people behind him, the ones he must now lead? What about Neytiri grieving for Grace in front of me, or Ca'lil sleeping in the nook between two roots, depressed and lost over the loss of her parents?

Why does he look at me with worry? I... I have lost a close friend, what who could cut straight through the crap one says and straight to the point of things, yet, under her stern actions and crass behavior, was a person who cared for everyone and fought to keep the Na'vi safe. But the Na'vi matter more, The People matter more.

My pain doesn't matter now, I need to remain strong.

I looked away from Tsu'tey, not showing the grief and pain I feel, as I looked at Jake, who was also trying to cover up his grief, Neytiri watching him closely. Jake dropped his head, his hands clenched on the rocks edge before he stood, looking straight forward as the grief morphed into rage, anger, and determination.