31 reasons {s. tendou}

letter thirty- one

letter thirty: you

♡

Dear Tendou Satori,

I love you.

And I'm sorry.

I guess those words don't mean anything though, since I'm not actually saying them.

Today is our graduation, and this is the last letter I'll write.

Why am I sad about that? I should be happy. I've managed to keep my feelings for you at bay, I haven't gotten distracted. That's good.

...Right?

Wrong.

I regret everything. I regret not telling you how I feel. I regret pushing you away, or at least trying to. I regret not holding your hand, I regret not kissing you, I regret not being there for you like I could've been if I was your girlfriend. Hell, I regret not taking that stupid picture with you when we were in 2nd year.

But, it took me three years to realize that, and now it's too late. In a couple of hours, we'll have graduated, and I'll hardly see you again. On top of that, you won't even know how in love with you I am.

Ignoring that, I have a letter to write, and this one is a bit more... important. That's not really the word for it, but it'll do.

So, back to the actual reason I'm writing this.

I love you Satori.

I love every single thing about you, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Furthermore, I never want you to change. I know what you had to deal with when you were younger, and I just want you to know that those stupid kids were so wrong.

I know I said that before in another letter, but I have to say it again.

Never change Tendou. Never.

Please, I beg of you to never change the boy I fell in love with. Please never make yourself "normal".

(Which is another thing. Normal is such a bad word to use. Normal is different for everyone. For example, Ushijima's normal is so much different than Aiko's normal right? So why do people use normal as a word to describe people? It makes no sense to me.)

The only thing I'm asking you is to be nice to the boy I fell for. Don't change yourself, don't beat yourself up over the little things (I know you do that), make sure you're eating enough, stay hydrated. Take care of yourself now that I can't be there to make sure you do. Please.

Look at me, getting all emotional about a stupid letter you won't ever read. Funny.

Okay, okay, part two.

I'm sorry.

I was so indecisive towards you during our high school years. Sometimes we'd be buddies, other days I was cold towards you, it had to have been at least a bit confusing.

First and foremost: It was not because of anything you did.

I was just too childish and I didn't know how to handle my emotions, so pushing you away was what seemed like the best option for me. Which I now understand is stupid.

I just wanted to apologize for that, even if you don't technically receive my apology, it makes me feel just a bit better.

So, moral of the story Tendou, I'm so sorry, and in the name of tradition...

In case you couldn't tell, I love you. I love you, so much.

Sincerely,

Y/N L/N

♡