Sasquatch to the Moon

18: Isa

YETI

"I've never gotten a positive response, I mean, other than you."

"For real?"

"Never." I shake my head.

"But you've dated, you told me you've dated, didn't they have to have a positive response?"

"Not really," I shrug. "Normally it goes like this, you see," I hop up on his counter, watching him bite into a second cookie. "I go home for the summer and my friends introduce me to a new guy, the new guy always has a gay friend because it's Sweden and there's lest prejudice."

"Alright?"

"And then I get to know them, probably only because I'm lonely," I shrug. "And then they pull something on me because they think I act different. I go along with it and then it's just hookups under the terms that if they let anything slip, I'll have their throat. Then they get pissed off that I'm barely even out to myself yet and call it off the second I'm back in Canada. Also, the internet is fantastic and I'm not shy to use it."

Rocket bites his lips, thinking for a long while. "So am I like that, but over here?"

"No,"

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I like you," I mumble. "I fell for you really really hard and I never liked any of them like this."

"That's, sure, but, if you're 'barely out to yourself' how does that work?"

"It just means that I," I choke on my words. "It's not-"

"Come here," Milo takes my hands and walks me into his living room. "You're coming out to yourself right now."

"What?"

"Say it." He knots his fingers with mine.

I stare at him funny. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me who you are."

"I'm Håkon Rex." I mumble.

"And you're what?"

My voice gets smaller. "Gay."

"Now all together."

"I'm Håkon Rex and I'm gay." I stutter.

"Clearer. Say it like you believe it."

"I'm Håkon Rex and I'm gay."

"Better. Say it three more times, slowly."

"I'm Håkon Rex and I'm gay." I breathe for a second. "I'm Håkon Rex and I'm gay," He's smiling at me now and that gives me the little extra courage I need. "I'm Håkon Rex and I'm gay."

"Good," He gets on his tiptoes and kisses my cheek. "Now tell me something about you that is gay. I don't care what it is. Just something."

"I own cutoff jeans? You made fun of me for that once."

"Right. The jorts. Something else."

"I," I stare at him. "I like you, that's gay."

"Better, you just said gay without cringing."

"What?"

"You winced every time you said it before and then you didn't," Milo's teeth are really good. "Tell me something you like about guys."

"Hands," I mumble. "Eyes."

"Keep going?"

"Long hair," I cringe. "I don't know."