Fortitude

23-Feelings

Mcha Mungu si mtovu

(He who trusts in the Lord lacks nothing)
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Taji

Working out is honestly a great way to get things off your mind. I would however recommend prayer first, then that. I woke up with a certain urge to feel God's presence. I had been doing so well, but of late I was easily getting agitated by everything and anything. I needed another remedy to calm me down after I disposed all of my meds. I got on my music app and played a couple of worship songs. I then eventually found myself on my knees praying to God to be with me throughout the new week. I then joined Mark at the gym.

I really really wanted to text Raz but I honestly didn't know what was holding me back. She'd recently expressed her wishes for keeping things professional with me. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't respect her decisions. It's just hard to believe when she seems to get flustered everytime I'm near her. It's hard to stay away especially when she was being her true carefree self. It's hard when she literally called me her boyfriend and acted like a jealous girlfriend when that little red head was all up in my face.

I was glad my body was getting adapted to working out. Everything stopped aching and I was really enjoying it. I took a shower after my morning routine with Mark. I then got ready to go to that dreaded office and stare at a computer screen all day long. I sat on the benches outside the showers to collect myself first. My phone beeped. I would be lying if I told you that my heart wasn't in my throat at the expectation that it was my strawberry texting me. Well, it wasn't.

It was an instagram notification from some girl called Anita something with a bunch of unnecessary underscores. This was weird. I was on Instagram but if it were a room, it'd be filled with cobwebs since I don't even recall the last time I opened it.

x__Anita__x
Hey Taji. It's Anita, we met yesterday. Was just wondering if you'd like to come over to my place and watch a movie or something.

Or something?
I don't even want to know what she means by that.

x__Anita__x
Oh and come with the BMW.

It's an Audi!
Jeez!

I rolled my eyes and texted back

No thanks. I have a girlfriend sorry.

I then went to her page to do a little stalking. It was kinda creepy that she actually took her time to figure out what my Instagram handle was. But then again, you didn't need a rocket scientist for that since I used my real name on all my socials. As I was scrolling through her feed, I saw Jabari face on a couple of posts and I immediately put two and two together.

She's with him.
Could that be what was bothering Raz?

Another dm came in.

x__Anita__x
Whatever. *Mtaachana tu. (You'll eventually break up)When you change your mind, just slide in my dm.

What is wrong with women these days? What happened to faithfulness? What ever happened to the good old days when the men made the first move? Okay yeah, I'm traditional like that. But it saves everyone a whole lot of effort. I just rolled my eyes and exited the app. My phone buzzed again and my face lit up.