Fortitude

36-Forlorn

Then Job answered and said,  “Oh, that my grief could actually be weighed And placed in the balances together with my tragedy [to see if my grief is the grief of a coward]!  For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea; Therefore my words have been incoherent

Job 6:1‭-‬3 AMP

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Taji

I'd just gotten up and realised that I passed out on her shoulder the previous night. It took me a minute to take my eyes off how angelic she looked as memories of the time I caught her asleep in my room came flooding back. We'd come a long way and I knew that I had to tell her everything. I planned to do it by the day. We were supposed to go for dinner at Bobby's place, so I figured I'd do it right after. I was certain that I wanted to be hers for the rest of my life. However, no relationship grows on a foundation of secrets and lies. So I asked her to take a walk with me when she woke up.

She came back down in grey sweats and a huge furry coat that looked like it swallowed her miniature body. She looked cute anyway. She'd look cute in a sack for crying out loud. I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack and put on some mittens I found lying around.

The air wasn't as bad as it was the previous day. I was just glad that it wasn't raining at the moment. I didn't know how to explain to her parents how I took their a healthy child and brought her back with pneumonia.

There was a group of kids playing with lightsabers that my anxious self hadn't noticed up until I accidentally bumped into one. The little boy stumbled to regain his stability, but I made matters worse by trying to help, accidentally hitting him in the face with the blue lighsaber he had in his hand.

You can imagine what happened next. I didn't know how to deal with the water works but I was so glad Raz was there. She ran up to the little boy and wrapped her arms around him till he stopped crying. When he calmed down, she held his face in her hands and studied for any marks left by me. My mind went straight to picturing how great she'd do as a mother.

They talked a bit then turned to me. Raziya shot me an expression that spelled out 'apologise to the kid.' I hesitantly went closer to them then rather too awkwardly said that I was sorry. He smiled anyway and ran off to continue playing with his friends.

"I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to hurt people and not know what to do about it," I blurted out once he was in the clear but regretted it immediately.

"Huh?"

This is absolutely not the time to tell her about what happened when mum passed away.

I opened my mouth trying to say something to defend my earlier statement but I was running out of excuses to dodge the story. Luckily, Tessa saved me by calling out to us from the kitchen window. I chose not to ignore her and have that talk with Raz. I just left her there, puzzled. Yes. I know I'm an idiot.

"You said you were going to make breakfast," she said as she pulled me to the kitchen. She'd actually laid out everything I'd need on the counter.

"I'll fix you guys something real quick, "

"Funny how a quick breakfast fix from you is something served in a fine dining establishment," Terry yawned out as she came into the kitchen. Raziya was right behind her laughing at her comment. Or was it her disheveled morning look? I don't know. All I know is that she was masking away some negative feeling she was had towards me.