Fortitude

40-Fortitude

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but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP

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Taji

I gave her a minute to process that. She stiffened as she held her breath trying her best to act calm. But there was no way you can be nonchalant about someone confessing to something like that.

"What happened?" She asked, keeping her tone calm as she picked up the case and put it on the coffee table.

Flashback

"Rose! Rose! No, no. Please no. ROSE! " my dad yelled at the top of his lungs. The heartbeat monitor was just a series of parallel lines as the annoying ring filled the ward.

The next few moments were a blur as everything seemed to transpire in slow motion. My sisters were all around mum's bed, balling their eyes out. Nurses came in trying to calm them down. Dad stood there, completely defeated. I stood at the foot of the bed watching everything unfold before my fourteen year old eyes.

I had been developing episodes of uncontrolled mood swings. The problem was that whenever they came, I acted completely opposite of how I was supposed to. It was happening again. As everyone else cried, I laughed.

My dad's head snapped in my direction. His glare was sharp enough to slice through a fly if it dared cross his path. I raised an eyebrow at him and crossed my arms over my chest. It had been a long journey as he constantly forced himself to 'love me' to keep her happy. But she was gone. So if he did so then, it'd be pointless. Next thing I knew, I was manhandled all the way to the parking lot.

I wanted to mourn with them. I wanted to feel like family especially at a time like that, but however hard I tried to fight the reflexes, I lost. Every time. I got the urge to use my pocket money on something. Something big. Something that would get my mind off all that. It just rushed through me like a craving for crack. Never in my life had I ever done any drugs or tasted anything alcoholic. There was the obvious reason, I  was only fourteen. The other reason was that mum had raised me up to lead a clean and decent life, imparting biblical teachings every now and then.

That aside, I had a craving that needed to be fulfilled. I called a cab and it arrived just as Tanya got to where I was.

"Where are you going?" She asked as she wiped her tears away.

"You don't wanna know,"

"You're probably right. But I'm coming anyway."

With that, she got into the cab. I hesitantly followed her in. We got to our estate and she paid for the ride. Big mistake. I wanted to spend money and she wasn't really helping me.

"Taj? Wait up! " she called out upon realising that I wasn't going home. I ignored her and walked determinedly to a tatoo parlour that had opened up in the business plaza that stood a few meters away from our estate. She followed me all the way in. I expected her to flood me with questions but she just sat next to me, throwing her eyes around the drawings around us. I explained to the artist what I wanted and he insisted that I needed adult consent.