Save me- Lashton

Chapter 3

Waking up I groaned as I felt my arms sting with movement.

My prayers weren't answered.

I look at the clock and see I still have an hour until Cal picks me up for school.

My eyes wander to my arms as I see that more blood had seeped through during the night, but thankfully not gotten onto my bed sheets.

I carefully pull away the fabric on my arms, wincing as it catches multiple times. I sigh when I look at the bloody mess of my arms.

I walk towards my bathroom and strip to have a shower.

I make sure to wash my arms of any remaining blood while in there, knowing I can't leave it all bloody and messy.

I step out the shower and grab some clean sweats and another hoodie. Shoving my bloody one into the machine. I didn't wrap my wrists, knowing it will just hurt more, so instead I walk down to the yet again empty kitchen in an empty house.

I make a bowl of cereal and munch down on it, just scrolling through my phone. My thoughts aren't too bad now, which I am grateful for otherwise it would be a lot harder to keep up the act around Cal.

-

Ten minutes pass before I hear a car horn from outside.

I walk out the house, grabbing my backpack in the process and walking to the all too familiar car, and person inside.

"Morning Lukey." Cal says as I slide into the passenger seat.

"Hey Cal." I say, sending him a light smile.

He smiles back, "how was work yesterday?"

"It was alright. Quiet. Joey also told me I have to work on my own today, which I'm yet to know if it's a good thing or not."

Calum hums and replies, "I can stay if you want."

I shake my head knowing I don't want to be a burden.

"No no, it's okay Cal Pal. Thanks though." I say sincerely.

Calum nods and says, "Okay, but text me if you want me there okay?"

"Yes sir." I mock salute him with a little laugh. Like I said, Cal always lights me up a little.

"I'm being serious Luke." Cal says, rolling his eyes.

I nod saying, "Okay, I will promise."

He seems satisfied with the answer and we continue on our way to school.

-

School seemed to drag on, I only got to see Cal twice and each time wasn't for exceptionally long. Normally we sit with each other at lunch, but he found me and said he had some work to finish for his class. So, I was alone.

I know that might sound selfish, but I hate being alone. Especially at school. I'm alone at home, and sometimes work. But never school. Yet today it will be all three.

My thoughts yet again consumed me, making me feel more alone and worthless then ever.

I decide to pull out my notebook and turn to my new song I've been writing. I only have a little more until it's finished.

I look over all my work and carry on-

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all.

I nod as I finish, feeling good about how it ended. I already know the cords to go with it, so I know I'll play it soon.

-

"I'm sorry I wasn't there at lunch." Cal says, as he drives me to work.

After work I always walk back as it's only a ten-minute walk, but school to work would be a lot longer.

"It's okay Cal, I understand." I say. No one would want to be around me.

He nods, but seems guilty as he continues and says, "I promise it won't happen again, and if it does, I'll make sure to let you be allowed to come."

I laugh, only slightly and maybe even sadly at that while shaking my head. "It's okay Cal, chill out dude."

Calum nods looking relieved.

-

I walk into the store alone, and make sure the sign shows it's open.

I hurry to the back and throw on my work shirt and work jumper, making sure my arms are covered. They thankfully hadn't bled anymore but that didn't mean they didn't hurt like a lot at some points.

After getting ready I walk to the cash register and sit behind there.

-

Time passes and only a few people have come and gone.

I decide I may as well start playing my new song, as I always use a guitar when I'm here and Joey never minds.

I sat on the counter and started strumming the chords, and then started to sing it.

'I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted...'