Save me- Lashton

Chapter 37

-Luke's P.O.V-

I trail behind Cal, my sleeves pulled down as far as possible while I grip the ends. I can feel the tears still in my eyes and I know I probably look like a mess; but I don't have the heart to try to fix my appearance.

"I won't tell them." Calum reassures me once we reach the door.

I nod, feeling grateful that at least he won't go around telling everyone that I'm fucked.

Glancing once more at him I can see the redness and puffiness of his eyes. And how his eyes linger on me, worry and sadness swarming them when he does so. His eyes glancing at my wrists without even knowing it. I hate that I have caused this much damage to him, and it only makes me want to die even more. He would only feel a little pain from it, but after he would be fine as he won't have to deal with me.

Calum opens the door to the bedroom, and I see both Mikey and Ash up, talking to each other. And when they hear the door open both their gazes land on us, and I can tell they both see how distraught and sad we both are as their expressions turn from one of happiness to worry.

"Are you okay?" Ash asks, rushing to me while Michael does the same with Calum.

I merely nod at his question, wanting nothing more than for the floor to swallow my pitiful self up.

He raises his brow in question while saying, "I can see you're not Penguin, I know you've been crying. What's wrong?"

I sigh, not wanting to lie to him; but I know I can't tell him the whole truth.

So, instead I shake my head as tears collect in my eyes and I hug him tightly, feeling like if I were to let go, I would fall away into the darkness.

He hugs me back just as tightly, sensing how sad I am.

I can hear Calum crying with Mikey and whispering before the door opens and I can no longer hear Calum crying. I just latch onto Ashton tighter feeling like everything is falling apart.

"Calm down Penguin, it's okay. I'm right here." Ash soothes as I hold onto him for dear life.

It feels like I've let Calum down, like I've lied to him- which I have-. He deserves so much better than me, a friend who doesn't deliberately cause pain and isn't so sad. Someone who he could rely on and not have to always worry about. They all deserve someone better.

I noticed during the time I was thinking we had moved to sit on the bed and my cries had subsided to only soft sniffles.

"What happened Lukey, did you and Calum argue?" He asks softly.

I shake my head and whisper, "Why do I always mess up Ashy. Whenever Cal begins to be happy, I come along and ruin it."

Ashton tenses while still holding me close and he says, "why would you say that Luke. I've seen how happy he is with you. He cares about you."

"You saw how upset he was." I reply glumly.

A sad sigh is released from his lips and he pulls away to look at me, while making me look into his hazel eyes that are shining with concern.

"I'm not sure what happened, but what I know is that he cares so much about you. So if he is upset, it's not because he doesn't like you. He is just worried about you, and you might not like him being worried, or any of us; yet we will be worried, because we all care about you." He says while not breaking eye contact.

I nod slowly, trying to keep his words and not twist them into a cruel statement.

He seems satisfied as he nods, "Let's get ready then, then go get something to eat."