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With dripping and pattering sounds of rain I hear, here I am standing at a chair muddled up with a messy mind thinking that I should end my life by now

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With dripping and pattering sounds of rain I hear, here I am standing at a chair muddled up with a messy mind thinking that I should end my life by now.

I stared blankly at a rope hanging up on the ceiling I made a while ago. "I should've ended this sooner," I just laughed at what I thought.

Kung tinapos ko nalang sana 'to noon pa, edi hindi na sana ako mas nagdusa ngayon. 

I was left in a miserable state when my parents died five years ago. "Sana sinama nyo nalang ako noon pa para hindi na 'ko mahirapan pa nang ganito."

Fuck those debts. 

"Fuck your fucking debts!" I screamed at my frustrations. Minsan pa ay pinagmasdan ko ang buong kwarto ko. "This ends here..."

Marahan kong hinawakan ang lubid na nasa harapan ko. Unti-unting bumabagsak ang mga luha ko habang inilulusot ko ang ulo ko sa gitna ng mga ito hanggang sa tuluyan ko na itong nailagay sa leeg ko.

1...2...3....

"A-ack...a-ack...help...h-help," I seek help as I struggled to lose my breath. Naninikip na ang paghinga ko at halos bumaligtad na ang mga mata ko. The chair where I stand already fell off, so I knew it would be too late.

I know I've lost.

Habang palabo na ang paningin ko ay narinig kong may pilit na nagbubukas ng pintuan hanggang sa ang huling narinig ko nalang ay ang malakas na pagbukas nito kasunod ng ilang ulit na pagtawag sa pangalan ko. "Ash! Ashzen!"

"H-help..."

That day I knew, I should've not done it alone. I still want to escape, and I still want to run away.

Everything just seemed to change after I discovered that Assembly ㅡ an Assembly where I could die with someone else; an assembly where we share the same thoughts.

“They will understand me. They will for sure. We're on the same boat after all.”

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