Selfless

30

When I woke up I looked around the room with confusion until I remembered I fell asleep at the hotel room and not in my own bed.

I'll be honest, every time I wake up I get a little bit nervous that I'm going to have extreme memory loss again, but I was told it's very unlikely for that to happen so that was good.

I got out of bed and stretched, feeling a lot better than I did when I went to bed. As I walked around the room I heard the tv playing in the other room so I walked over to the door and went out there.

"Hey, you're up!" Colby exclaimed happily and stood up as Mia looked up at me from the floor. "Hey, what are you two up to?" I asked and walked up to Colby so he could hug me. I melted into him as he kissed my head, "just hanging out, waiting for you to wake up. You hungry?" He asked and rubbed my back gently. "Yeah, starving actually." I said and pulled away then rubbed my stomach.

"We can go somewhere or I can order a pizza or something. I'm down for anything." He said and sat down on the couch and pulled my hands so I would be sitting next to him. "Hmmmm pizza sounds good." I said and pulled my knees into my chest and grabbed the remote to look for a movie.

"Pizza it is." Colby said and pulled his phone out to order it. I leaned my head against his shoulder and scrolled through the channels until I saw that New Year's Eve was playing. I loved a good romantic comedy so I put it on and snuggled into Colby more.

"Alright, the pizza is ordered." He said and put his phone down then wrapped his arm around me, "what do you want to do for your birthday?" I asked quietly as we watched the movie. "Spend time with you." He said causing me to laugh, "well yeah, but anything in specific you wanna do? I was planning on taking you to dinner at least. Maybe we can...."I trailed off thinking about things we could do that wouldn't be considered strenuous. I had to get him out of the house but I also had to be safe.

"We can go adventure somewhere." I suggested and he smiled, "yeah that sounds like fun." He said and kissed my head again.

We watched the movie quietly until Colby's phone rang to notify him that the pizza was here. He went down to the lobby and I picked Mia up so I could feed her really quick. "You feeling better little girl?" I asked and rubbed her hair down. She was starting to get these big curls in her hair, which didn't surprise me because both mine and Colby's hair is naturally pretty curly.

By the time the movie was over it was already 11:30. "Baby it's already almost midnight." I said as Colby came in with the pizza. "Really?" He asked and set the pizza on the coffee table and sat next to me again. "Yeah, I'm gonna turn on the countdown." I said then grabbed a slice of pizza. "Thanks for being here with me tonight." I said quietly and crisscrossed my legs onto the couch. "There's nowhere else I would rather be." He said and put his arm around my shoulders.

Once I finished my pizza I scooped Mia up off the floor and cradled her as she started to fall asleep. "I don't think she's gonna make it another five minutes." I said and breathed out a laugh as I met Colby's blue gaze. I got lost in his eyes for a second as he smiled at me, "I'm surprised she made it this long honestly." He said and brought his hand up to caress her cheek with the back of his fingers.

I was so glad he decided to stay at the hotel with me instead of going to the party. The truth was I was really freaked out about the whole brain surgery thing. I only had a month to recover before the wedding, and I refused to be wheeled down the aisle. I was just glad he was here with me, even though he didn't know about what was going on. Maybe I was being selfish.

"What are you thinking about?" Colby asked softly as he looked into my eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I said quietly and brought my hand to his cheek. He looked at me with concern as I turned my head to the screen. They were counting down from 10 already.

I turned back and looked him in the eyes as they counted down. I rubbed my thumb along his cheek as Mia slept soundly in my arms.

"5...4...3...2...1. Happy New Year baby girl." He said quietly and kissed me. My chest filled with warmth as our lips moved in perfect sync.

Once we pulled away I smiled widely, "Happy New Year. We get married this year!" I squealed happily and did a small dance. "I can't wait. One month." He said and kissed me quick one more time.

One month.

One month of recovering.

I should tell him.

"One month." I said and smiled as Mia fussed in my arms a little, "I'm gonna bring her to bed." I whispered then got up and brought Mia into the bedroom and to her cot. Once she was settled in I sat on the bed and held my head, feeling the frustration boil up.

"Woah, hey are you okay?" Colby asked and rushed to sit next to me on the bed. "I'm....I'm okay." I said and nodded as he looked at me with concern. I knew once I told him he would be afraid to let me do anything until the surgery was done.

I wouldn't be able to take him to dinner for his birthday. I wouldn't be able to throw him a surprise party.

He wouldn't enjoy himself if he knew.

So I couldn't tell him.

But would he be mad if I didn't tell him? The last time I didn't tell him something my memories went away...was I being reckless?

No I actually had permission from Dr. Robinson this time. She told me to not do anything strenuous and I would be fine. I'm just sitting here talking to Colby. That's not strenuous.

"You're sure? You look like you're about to cry." He said and grabbed my hands. "I...I'm okay for now, just have a little headache. No biggie." I said and kissed his cheek.

I wasn't technically lying, I did have a headache and I was fine for now. I just didn't elaborate. It's fine.

Ignorance is bliss right?

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" Colby asked and I nodded slowly, "I know, you look tired though, we should go to bed. I think Sam has some plans for you tomorrow." I said and smiled at him.

"Really? He hasn't talked to me yet." Colby asked as we stood up to get ready for bed. "Yeah, he asked if I had any plans for you tomorrow and I told him no so I'm just assuming he's planning something." I said with a shrug as he pulled his shirt off. "Alright, well now I'm excited." He said and I chuckled, "relax, Brock. I don't even know if he's planning anything." I said with a laugh as we slid into bed.

"Yeah yeah, I'm still gonna be excited though." He said and pulled my waist against his as I flipped onto my side. "I'm glad you're excited, now get some rest. I love you." I said and enveloped his arms with my own.

"I love you too, baby girl. I always will."