Selfless

73

When I woke up I felt the urge to cry again, I hated this.

Colby was still holding me tightly to him as he slept. I could feel how stiff my face was from the dried tears that were caked onto my cheeks. Why was I being so selfish? We could be away from eachother for a month. It would be fine. I live 20 years without him I could go a month without seeing him. It was fine.

Maybe I was just getting freaked out because every time he leaves something bad happens.

I couldn't live my life in fear like that though, it wasn't healthy.

I felt Colby tighten his grip on me a little more as he groaned. "Good morning babe." I said and kissed his jawline as he scrubbed his eyes with his hand.

"Good morning beautiful girl. Do you want to go to breakfast with everyone?" He asked with a raspy voice. "Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm gonna miss having those goofy guys around." I said with a sigh, then started to get out of bed.

"Yeah, don't worry you'll get your daily crackhead content over FaceTime." He said and got out of bed also.

"I'm gonna go grab Mia." I said then skipped out of the room. When I made it to the nursery Mia was squealing for me. "Hi little one!!" I cooed and pulled her out of the crib, "I missed your snuggles sweet girl." I said and cuddled her as I walked back to the bedroom.

"Everyone is gonna meet us at ihop in an hour. So we gotta feed Mia and get ready." Colby said as Mia reached for him. "Okay, here cuddle your girl, I'm gonna get changed." I said and handed her off so I could get ready.

I heard him singing her nursery rhymes as I pulled my hair into a bun.

I decided in that moment I would surprise him at some point during the month. I would talk to the girls to see if they would come with me and surprise the guys. I could be without Colby for a month but Mia couldn't, she needed him.

When I walked out into the bedroom he was laying on the bed holding her up above him so it looked like she was flying. I just leaned against the door and watched them as she giggled with glee. Colby smiled so widely at her it sent my heart into overdrive,

"alright you two, it's time to get up." I said causing him to look over at me. "Okay, I'll get ready. Give me five minutes." He said and handed me Mia as he kissed my cheek before he went into the closet.

"Okay let's feed you real quick." I said and sat on the couch, then started feeding her. Colby came out wearing a white polo that I had never seen before causing me to laugh and scrunch my eyebrows. "What are you wearing!?" I said with a laugh, "I packed all of my clothes!" He defended and laughed at me.

"Oh my..okay let's go then." I said as I stood up to bounce Mia.

When we got to ihop everyone was already there which wasn't surprising at all, "Cor! Sit next to me!" Kat yelled and patted the seat next to her. I shrugged and sat down next to her as Colby sat next to Sam across from me. "Okay so tell me more about your trip." She said as I set Mia up in her highchair.

"Okay so the first day we went hiking and when I say it was the most beautiful view ever I mean it. Then as you know we went cliff jumping." I said and she laughed as Corey and Jake high fived. "Yeah I remember." She grumbled which made me laugh.

"Then the next day we went snorkeling and we saw all the fish and it was so fun and it was BEAUTIFUL. I wish you all could have experienced it." I said and smiled widely as she listened intently. "There was this massive storm and we sat in the bathtub because it was so scary but it ended up being fine." I said with a laugh as Colby smirked at me.

"Then the last full day we went ziplining and it was so scary but so beautiful. I'm really glad that Colby brought out the adrenaline junkie in me." I said and reached over to grab his hand. "That sounds so fun dude. You have bigger balls than me that's for sure." She said as the waitress came over to take our orders.

"Yeah, she was really excited about everything." Colby said coyly as I giggled, "yeah maybe a little bit." I said and took a sip of my water.

We enjoyed breakfast together as a big happy family before the guys had to go to the airport. I could feel the raincloud raging over me as we drove home. As soon as we got home we would have to turn around and go to the airport.

Sam, Colby, Kat, and I would go in one car then Tara, Jake, Devyn, and Corey would go in another car.

I sighed as we pulled into the driveway, feeling the dread in my chest heighten. "Okay, we will be back." Colby said as he and Sam got out. Kat and I stayed in the car, but as soon as he got out of the car I felt the tears well up, "Kat..." I whispered and turned to her, "oh Cor..." she said and reached her hand up, "I don't know why I keep crying. It's only a month." I said and wiped my eyes.

"You just got married Cor! You just spent your honeymoon together with only eachother it's a little bit of a shock to see him every minute of every day to not seeing him at all. It's okay to cry." She said and squeezed my hand.

"I guess you're right. We will get through it...should you and I like...sleep in the same bed?" I asked causing her to giggle, "I was going to ask you the same thing!" She said with a laugh as Mia cooed quietly.

"Okay, then we will just have to cuddle eachother..also we have things to talk about but it has to wait until they are gone." I said and she scrunched her face.

"Oh..okay. I hope it's not bad." She said as I shook my head, "no not bad..actually pretty good." I said and she nodded as the guys got in the car after putting their stuff in the trunk.

"Okay, let's go then," Colby said and took my hand in his. "Don't drive too fast..maybe then you'll miss your flight." I said as he squeezed my hand. "I wish baby girl." He said with a sigh.

The drive to the airport was surprisingly fun as we jammed to some music together. My heart grew heavier though when we got to the terminal. When I got out I pulled Mia out of her car seat.

"Come here baby girl." Colby said and held his arms out to me. I walked until I was close enough for him to pull me into his chest. "One month baby. It will fly by, I promise." He said and kissed my head. "One month." I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

I pulled away and handed him Mia as I walked over to Sam, "you guys better be safe or I swear to god...." I said as I hugged him, "we will, you guys stay safe here." He said into my hair as he hugged me. "I'll look after Kat, make sure she's okay." I said and smiled at him, "thanks Cor, love you." He said and I smiled, "love you too, Sammy." I said then turned back to Colby who was holding Mia so close to him.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, "baby.." I whispered and walked up to rest my hand on his cheek, "we will FaceTime every night." I said and felt tears of my own building up. "Yeah we will...make sure this little princess is awake during them for me." He said with a watery laugh. "I will, I promise." I said then gave him a kiss.

"Alright brother, we have to go, Jake said security is bad." Sam said and pulled his bag out. "Okay yeah...I'll be right there." He said then handed me Mia again, after kissing her cheek.

"Alright....I guess this is it." I said with a sigh then leaned my head on his chest again. "Please don't hesitate to call me, I'm serious Cor." He said causing me to nod as I started crying again, "I won't." I whispered as he kissed my head. "I love you so fucking much." He said then pulled me in for a deep kiss.

When we pulled away he wiped my cheeks, "I love you too..so fucking much." I whispered and bit my lip. "Don't cry beautiful girl, you're strong. We will be okay." He assured as he backed away.

"We will. Okay, safe flight...please call me when you land. And STAY SAFE. I swear if you get hurt I will lose my mind dude." I said causing him to chuckle, "we will be safe...okay I seriously have to go. I love you both." He said again then turned to walk through the doors. Then he was gone.

My heart went with him.