Trust Me?

Part 11

"I'm getting an early night." I whispered in my crackling voice into the kitchen. Mat was making himself another cup of tea, mindlessly stirring into the mug.
"I'll stay." Mat said.
"You don't have to." I looked down. "But thank you." I agreed, it wasn't worth the argument. Then I realised, "There's nowhere for you to—" My one bedroom flat was rather small, typical of a one bed for London: small and expensive.
"The sofa is fine." He let out a small chuckle and shot me caring eyes.
"I don't mind if you want to share my bed. No funny business though!" I joked.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, noticing Mat get out his phone. "I'll join you in a second."
As I ascended the stairs, I overheard Mat on the phone.
"Mate? Yeah, I'm here with her and I've offered to stay like you asked... Yeah, don't worry, she'll be fine.... Yeah.... Oh, but I'm sharing her bed.... she's only got the one" he laughed, "Yeah.... I promise I won't.... scouts honour.... cross my heart.... you can trust me, man, I'm your best friend!" Another chuckle, "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow... don't worry, I'm looking after her... Talk to you then, bye."

***

Deciding to get changed into my pyjamas in the bathroom, I quickly wriggled under the covers before Mat could finish his tea and make his way to bed too. Hearing him climb the stairs made me miss Ben, his little jokes as he'd get ready for bed, his comforting deep breathing beside me, his warm skin under the covers. Tears began to well up in my eyes, what had I done? Ben had pissed me off, but not enough for me to think about cheating. I was the worst girlfriend, no, person in the world.
My sobs became dank and heavy as Mat entered the room.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, seating himself on the bed beside me and wrapping me in his arms.
Gentle 'shh's escaped his lips, reminding me of his best friend even more.
"I—" I sobbed. "I just miss him, I can't believe I did that to him." Both of my hands were at my face, catching and mopping up falling tears.
"It's okay, it'll be alright. You'll sort it out."
After a while, my crying became inaudible and lone hiccups perturbed my breathing.
"I'll be right back." Mat said, pulling his embrace off of me to disappear into the bathroom.
I nestled myself down under my duvet and curled into a tight ball on my side, trying to calm myself down.
I was aware of the lamp switching off, being plummeted into darkness and Mat joining me by my side. He stretched an arm around me and I snuggled into it, the tight cuddle bringing me so much comfort.
"Thank you, Mat." I whispered into the darkness.
"Go to sleep, it'll be better in the morning." He tightened his hug and I felt his breathing quickly slow with sleep. I wasn't far behind.

***

When morning broke, Mat was nowhere to be seen. I tossed and turned for a while before deciding I should get up too. I quickly got dressed, throwing an old tea dress on and tying my hair into a bun. I put on a little bit of make up, not as much as I normally would for work though. We all had to be in work today for an afternoon shoot so I was glad I hadn't overslept too much.
"Good morning!" Mat said, almost too spritely.
"Is it?"
"Come on, it'll be alright, you'll see."
He gave me a reassuring hug and passed me a banana and a travel mug of tea. "We'd better get going, I want to get in early." I was curious as to why Mat wanted to get into work so early, but also lacked the energy to even ask. I suppose it would give me time to sort out my make up trailer for later and who needed what, so I didn't mind.

The drive to work was silent. I knew Mat wanted to ask me questions, but he stayed quiet and I was grateful for that.
"How are you feeling?" He couldn't help himself.
"Tired." I said, "And nervous."
"It'll be okay."
"How do you know?" I was feeling desperate as we got nearer to the set.
"I just do. You two are made for each other, anyone can see that. It just makes sense."
I smiled a little. Mat was right, Ben and I did 'just make sense', that's how I felt too.