The Truth He Never Told -I-

16. One step closer

"God, I don't know what I should do now, let me pass this difficult time soon, please," I prayed to the almighty and looked at the glowing lighting in front of me.

I can't control my anxiety, even though his parent's past doesn't affect me but I fear Vijay, and how he will react if he comes to know that I learned about the past which he tries to hide. He will get angry but I shouldn't argue with him. Dealing this calmly is the best option because it's a delicate problem where my usual words might hurt him.

His car sound suddenly got my attention. I turned off the lighting and came out of the Pooja room to see Vijay entering the house.

He didn't look at me and walked to the kitchen to drink water before starting anything. I thought I should talk to him so when he came out I opened my mouth.

"Did my grandpa come home?" Vijay raised a question before I could say anything.

"Yes, he came in the morning and he left soon," I answered, seeing him unbuttoning his wrist buttons.

"How did you know?"

"He called me in the afternoon," and then he asked, "Did he say anything?"

"No," I nodded not looking at his face.

"Don't lie. I know about him; he blabbers a lot," he smiled. This smile –this is what intimidates me. If someone is angry, then how can they smile and pretend like they are cool? Maybe he was doing this for a long time so that he's perfect at faking.

"He didn't say anything, but I asked about your mother," I told the truth.

"So he told everything," he raised his eyebrows.

I nodded. Heaving a sigh, he stumbled on the nearby couch and I watched him nervously.

"Why did you lie to me?" I asked.

"I didn't lie. I haven't seen her in a long time. Truthfully, I don't know how she will look. She's not my mother anymore, for me she's dead," he answered.

"But I don't understand one thing, why you never listen to anything I say. Why did you ask him, can't you trust me?"

"Please don't take me wrong," I mumbled looking down.

"Because you don't trust my words. You always see me skeptical like I am a bad person?" he said still maintaining his calm tone.

"No, please don't talk like that. I just asked to know whether she's alive, that's it, I don't care about that and it's not going to affect us," I sat beside him and looked at his pissed-off face.

"You do, that's why you asked him and it's going to be in your head for life long. And also you will tell this to everyone," he frustrated.

"Why you're talking like this, I will forget whatever he said. I will never ever bring this talk again and I won't say this to anyone, I promise," I bite my lower lip seeing his apparently fuming face. I didn't do anything wrong but for him, I have done a big mistake.

He was silent and kept observing my remorseful face. Heaving a sigh in frustration, "Out of everyone, why do you have to know that?" he sounded low and the next moment his hands shut his sad face. For the first time, I saw the sadness in his gestures and it made my eyes well with tears.

"Don't worry, it's nothing to do with our life," I said caressing his shoulders.

"It will, you don't know how much it will affect your head. You will see me differently after this, don't you?"
"No, I will forget it,"

"You can't assure that because I have experienced a lot because of that. you will think about it," he argued. So this is what he's afraid to face. He's insecure about his family history so that's what made him so stubborn. I can't help but have compassion for him.

"Look dear, what you're thinking is utterly not true. You don't have to feel this way for whatever your parents did and they are all passed so nothing can't be changed now," I said and hugged him. I can understand that for all these he must have had no one to say this.

He hugged me back tightly.

"Because of them, I turned this way and I was afraid that you will tell this to everyone and in the end, you will leave me like everyone," he blurted out his underlying fear and I pulled out from the hug.

"I never had anyone besides me for so long and when you came, I felt like I got something that I missed for a long time. I could have told you this but I thought you will react negatively," his words bought a smile to my face. "I know you're a good person and I strongly believe it. You didn't do any mistakes, that's enough for me. So let's leave this matter and smile," I said because his face is gloomy.

He nodded plastering a small smile. "Never say this to anyone, I feel ashamed to face everyone after that," he requested and I nodded.

"I won't," I hugged him again and felt like we have resolved something big. I didn't expect we would finish it without many arguments but I am happy that it ended that way.

And in the same bewilderment, he pushed me onto the couch and starts to overwhelm me with his kisses and unfastened my saree. We made love, this time he's much more intent. Like all the time, he closed his eyes but I didn't care about anything. He's different and I should accept this.

There's something that's bothering him deeply. Not only his mom, but he also said his dad abused him that's why he's so unconfident.

No! enough of digging into his past. I should make our time happy instead. The past or the future is no more his concern than this present moment.

After our heated passionate moment, we both rested on the floor cuddling each other in the dark.

"If I get pregnant, will that be a boy or a girl?" I questioned, blushing hard.

He became grim and turned to me, "Let's think about us first and we still have a lot of time to ponder the rest."

Like splashing a glass of water on my face, my smile faded away, and become sad to hear that unwelcoming answer. But even if he wants it or not, he's going to become a father and I hope he will change after that.