Play of Fate

Chapter 12

                       جانتے ہو اذیت کیا ہے؟
         کہنے کو بہت کچھ ہونا لیکن خاموش رہنا!!
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Sara. Sara. Sara. The name was always there playing in my head like a broken tape recorder. Who is she? What did she mean to him? The endless circle of questions and the endless circle of thoughts was slowly driving me to madness.

After first time. I somehow made myself believe that it was nothing but my imagination. My hallucination. My mind playing tricks on me. If it was that then it wasn't ending. The tricks, hallucinations, imagination. They were playing with my senses night after night, night after night.

Sara no, Sara Sara no. I was hearing something along the lines from his lips. A name. A meaningless name was disrupting my relationship and my peace of my mind. I knew that I was distancing myself from Jahan these days. What else could I do? Every time when I was with him. I wanted to grab on his collar ask him why did he every night whispered a name in arms of his wife?

I desperately wanted this name to be meaningless and belong to a meaningless face. This feeling. I never felt like this way before. It was vile and it hurt. It hurt bad. It hurts so bad that I wasn't sure that I even wanted to hear his answer. I was scared that it would hurt more to my already wounded heart.

It was only now that I realized that my husband never told me that he loved me. Ironic Isn't it. I never confessed too. Did I love him? Is that why it was hurting this much? I never been hurt like this before not even when I finally let ibad go.

Looking at my husband who was taking an oath looking as regal as before in white kurta shalwar and royal blue waist coat with matching cuff links and rolex watch.

I didn't feel happy that he won. I couldn't feel anything then the despair that was gripping my heart. Mostly everyone in this room was overjoyed expect mummy, pappa and me.

I couldn't stand it anymore so I excused and caged myself in my old room. Later after dinner, I asked Sana if I could sleep with her? I was already informed that Jahan wasn't going to come tonight as he was going to be in a party at farmhouse only for men.

I didn't think much about what kind of part it would be and found myself falling asleep.

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I entered my room expecting my wife to by lying on our bed sleeping peacefully but to my utter surprise, the room was empty. I checked balcony, bathroom and nothing.

I pulled my waist coat off before pulling the sleeves to my elbow. I wasn't going to sleep on this bed withoutout her. When I left the party early just to be with her.

I walked to the other end of corridor opening the door of her old room expecting her to be in there but she wasn't. Where could she be? Sana. She must be with her.

I strided toward Sana's room. I knocked on it once and then again. After the third knock. The door opened revealing Sana.

"Jahan bhai ap."

"Noor ander hai? (Is Noor in there?)

"Ji. She is sleeping."

I didn't wait for her to open the door for me. I swiftly walked past her into the room. My eyes landed on the figure under the sheets. I crouched down on her. She was really sleeping peacefully with some strands lying acrosss her face. Her pink juicy mouth a bit parted. Eyes closed. Black lashes curling at end. It wasn't time to stare at her as we had a viewer so moving the sheets, I placed one hand under her back and the other under her knees and picked her up in my arms.