Gateway Drug | Volume I

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Four [Pt.1]

Warning(s):
Explicit language
Drug abuse

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I exhale, turning to look at Nikki where he's laying beside me, a sickly pale tone to his skin, his black hair tangled, his hand that is clinging to mine, covered in tracks, the same appearance as his other hand. 

I can't help but wonder if I bathed him if he'd wake up. He reeks, and he's rough looking, only adding to my guilt. 

Fred gave him a sleeping pill to ease him off of his coke high--he's been freebasing again, just cooking it up in the room's microwave. 

I don't know what the hell to do about him. 

I wish I did. 

Turning over to face him, I brush his bangs out of his eyes, my fingertips lightly dusting over his cheeks, dark circles under his eyes. 

They were supposed to play tonight, but said Nikki came down with the flu and added the show to the second round of U.S. tours lined up for early next year. 

The Nikki I knew would have never put drugs over his music, his fans, and especially not his relationship. 

But, the Nikki I knew also wouldn't have cheated on me…

It's been hard to accept the fact that the Nikki I fell in love with six years ago, isn't around anymore. 

1981

I finish getting my church dress back on, grinning at Nikki as he gets his pants laced back up, the both of us glancing at each other in the back of my car. 

"What's mommy and daddy gonna say when I send their girl back home all turned out?" He asks me, smugly, and I put my heels back on, scoffing. 

"Gee, just come home with me and find out." I shrug. 

"I'll pass." He mumbles, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure they'd love you." I nudge him with my elbow. 

"Your mom would piss her granny-panties." He argues, wrinkling his nose a little and I just blink at him. 

"Maybe...but I'm pretty sure my dad would like you." I inform him. 

"Like hell he does." He says to himself and I just let out a breath. 

"So…" I say after a few seconds of silence and he nods a little, awkward tension filling the air around us. 

"...Well." He lets out in the same tone. 

"Good freaking night." I go to open the car door, irritated that he doesn't offer up to hangout and do stuff other than fool around, slamming the door shut.

"Hey, what's up?" He asks me, getting out next, standing by the driver's door, blocking my way. 

"Nothing. I'll see you later." I mumble, nudging him out of my way, opening my door but he's quickly shutting it before I can. 

"Viv, what's--" 

"--I'm gonna start charging you to sleep with me." I state blatantly and his hazel eyes widen, a shit eating smirk on his lips as he chuckles out, "what?" 

"You'd think since we have sex with each other so often it'd at least make us friends, but all you wanna do when we hangout is screw around and then go do whatever with the guys." I tell him. "And, no, this isn't me being a 'typical girl' and developing feelings for you just because we've had sex. It's me being tired of feeling like I'm just being used to get you off."