Chapter 16

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Dinah walked out of her room at four-thirty in the morning, to find her best friend sitting on the couch. She yawned and stared at Camila silently.

"What are you doing?" she asked finally.

Camila glanced up from the book she was reading.

"Oh, good morning," she said. "There's coffee in the machine."

"Thanks," Dinah responded, not moving from the spot she occupied. "But what are you doing?" Camila held up the book. "I'm reading."

"At four-thirty?"

Camila shrugged. "I decided to stay up and watch the sun rise," she replied casually.

Dinah blinked a few times, suddenly certain that between her bed and the living room she'd somehow stepped into an alternate universe.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"I need coffee," Dinah muttered, heading toward the kitchen. "It's too early for this madness."

While Dinah prepared herself a cup of coffee, Camila returned to the book. She wasn't entirely certain what had possessed her to buy The Remains of the Day. But as she'd passed by a bookstore on her way to classes earlier that day, she'd seen the novel clearly displayed on the window of the small shop. Camila had taken it as a sign.

Not to mention, of course, that she was extremely curious about her new friend.

They'd been exchanging emails for a few weeks now, but somehow Camila felt that it wasn't enough. She wanted to know more.

Like why Laura enjoyed this book so much, for instance. Camila had managed to get through half of it. She'd expected some kind of action or plot. But it was just some English butler talking about how much he loved to serve his master. And something about a trip somewhere. Camila wasn't sure.

Dinah sat down beside Camila a few minutes later. She gulped down half the cup and sighed in relief.

"So what's going on?" Dinah asked. "I mean, the fact that you're staying up to see the sunrise is bizarro enough. But you're actually reading a book, Camila . As in, voluntarily. As in, you're creeping me out."

Camila rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to be more literary."

Dinah nodded. "You've lost your mind, haven't you?" she guessed. "The breakdown a few weeks ago was the start of your sanity's steady decline."

"Actually, I feel kind of good," Camila said, putting the book aside. "When was the last time you looked at the sunrise, Dinah ?"

"Oh, I'd say about every single day on my way to work."

Camila smiled and nodded. "Yes, but did you really stop to look at it? Did you think, 'Wow, look at that wonderful spectacle. A true miracle in its own right.'"

Dinah downed the rest of her coffee and stared at Camila . "You joined a cult, didn't you? One of those freaky Heaven's Gate type of deals? Mass suicides, long robes, brain washing, that sort of thing?"

Camila sighed, grabbing the novel.

"Nevermind."

Dinah put her palm to Camila's forehead.

"No fever," she said. "Stick out your tongue."

Camila swatted Dinah's hand away. "Don't you have to go to work?"

"Maybe I should call in sick."

"But you're not sick."

Dinah stood and headed for the kitchen to rinse out the cup. "But you clearly are. What is going on with you? First you run out on Nathan, an action that I would've supported wholeheartedly had I not been worried out of my mind. Then for the past few weeks you've been like ... airy."

"Airy?" Camila repeated, glancing over her shoulder toward the kitchen.

Dinah grabbed her backpack from the back of one of the chairs. "Yes, airy," she said, slipping it on.

"I'm pleased to learn that I've been well-ventilated."

Dinah rolled her eyes. "Okay fine, perhaps airy is the wrong choice of words. But that doesn't exempt you from this strange behavior. I'm not sure how I feel about you watching sunrises all of a sudden. And like ... reading."

Camila chuckled. "Is overreacting lesson number two in acting class?" she wondered.

"Yep," Dinah answered. "How am I doing?"

"I'd give you two thumbs up," Camila assured her. "You're gonna be late."

Dinah nodded, grabbing her keys from the counter. "Right. I'm off to feed legal addictive stimulants to the anxious masses. See ya tonight."

Camila waved, and turned her attention back to the book. But she couldn't concentrate. Rising from the couch, she walked over to the balcony where the sky was beginning to lighten. How strange that such a random activity should suddenly make her feel so free.

Perhaps Dinah was right, she was acting strange. But she felt so much better. Lately she'd had confidence and an increasing sense of self.

And she wasn't entirely sure why.

————

Dear Laura,

This may sound a bit odd, but I stayed up today to watch the sunrise. Dinah probably thinks I've lost my mind. Actually, she does think I've lost my mind. But you know, it was so beautiful. I couldn't see much with all of the buildings in my way. I'm sure it would be even more breathtaking from the shore. Still, it made me think about my life's direction. Or lack, thereof.

I mean, life is so defined by what career one chooses. It's not even about having a job and money. It's all about an identity. A doctor. An artist. A lawyer. It's kind of depressing, that we all become these words that don't even conjure up a complete picture of who we are. We just kind of become these stereotypes. Rich doctors. Starving artists. Bloodsucking lawyers.

I took a picture of a bird yesterday. I didn't know why at the time, but I think subconsciously, I was jealous. Jealous that a supposedly lesser creature should be freer than I. But I think that's what makes animals more majestic. They have innate freedom. Humans love to confine each other into smaller and smaller boxes.

And all we can do is punch holes and hope air passes through.

I'm probably making no sense. And I think now I'm starting to sound like you. :)

Today (once I go to bed and wake up again, that is), I'm going to a museum. I like to walk through and look at all the paintings and let them fill me with peacefulness and hope for the future.

Kinda like you and your sunsets. Cause you're right, the world gets very noisy sometimes. You have to press the mute button once in a while.

Your friend,

Camila

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