Hermitcraft Oneshots

The Joke

(Here is your reminder that this is a joke, don't take it seriously, and if you want me to change something I am happy to have a civil discussion about it. Thanks!)

(This one will have an extra note in the middle) 

(Also, without spoilers I will say that there is an encoded phrase , and I would appreciate it if you decide to translate and decode it, please write it at the end, thank you) 

(Opening Scene: One of Zedaph's season 6 bases. Zoom into upstairs window.  Interior of small room. A bent figure (Zedaph) huddles over a table, writing. He is surrounded by bits of paper. The camera is situated facing him as he writes with immense concentration on his face.)

Xisuma(as a narrator) : This man is Zedaph... writer of jokes. In a few moments, he win have written the funniest joke in the world and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.

(Zedaph stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile spreads across his face, turning very slowly to hysterical giggling... he stumbles across room helpless and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.)

<Zedaph was slain by whinl2bfwy5mg$tjrfeg*mgce0gngncxsf(&jgw#8zhrjfc>

Xisuma: It was obvious that this joke was lethal... no one could read it and live ...

(Tango enters. He sees his friend's items lying on the floor and gasps. He bends over trying to pick them up for him. He notices the piece of paper in  and picks it up and reads. Immediately he breaks out into hysterical laughter, jumps suddenly and explodes into his and Zedaph's items and XP.)

<TangoTek was slain by vBHeRJN65*vharqn3b7*vqn#cqhe>

Cub(as a reporter standing in front of the base): This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this place in hermitcraft. Sudden ...violent ... comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Captain Angry Eyes is with me now.

Captain: I shall enter the house and attempt to remove the joke.

(An upstairs window in the house is opened and Impulse leans out laughing and dies; his items falling out of the window. )

<ImpulseSV was slain by ilbfw3mgtj*rfeg8mgZegn0nc#xsjgwXhrj&fc>

(Cub and Captain Angry Eyes look up and then continue as if they are used to it.)

Captain Angry Eyes: I shall be aided by the sound of zombies, and also by the chanting of laments by the Architechs... 

(He points to Grian, Mumbo, and Iskall standing somberly nearby)

Captain Angry Eyes: The atmosphere thus created should protect me in case I read the joke. 

(He gives a signal. The Architechs start screaming demonically. Zombies begin groaning. The Captain squares his shoulders and bravely starts walking into the base. Doc salutes him from the shadows.)

Cub: There goes a brave man. Whether he comes out alive or not, this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous and gallant acts in history.