(Skit actually named Army Protection Racket from Monty Python's flying circus)
I can't find a clip of it soooooooooooo.
(Cut to Doc's office in the Team STAR base. Doc is seated at desk.)
Doc: Come in, what do you want?
(Mumbo enters and stands awkwardly by the door)
Mumbo: I'd like to leave the team, Doc.
Doc:(Disappointed) Man why?
Mumbo: Its dangerous!
Doc: What?
Mumbo: There are people with weapons out there, sir.
Doc: What?
Mumbo: Real weapons. Not fake ones. Proper ones. They've all got some, and some of them have TNT cannons.
Doc: (deep breath) Mumbo, they're on our side!
Mumbo: And mobs. A Ghast Cannon as well!
Doc: Mumbo, you've only been on the team for a day! The war hasn't even begun yet!
Mumbo: I know but people get killed. Impulse was telling me, if you're in the war and there's a battle, you have to go and fight.
Doc: That's true.
Mumbo: Well I mean, blimey, I mean if it was a big battle somebody could be hurt!
Doc: Mumbo, why did you join the war?
Mumbo: Because Grian asked me to-AHEM- I mean, because I got pranked? Not for killing. I asked them to put it on my resume, - no killing.
Doc: Mumbo are you a pacifist?
Mumbo: No, I'm not a pacifist, I'm a coward.
Doc: That's a very stupid line. Sit down.
Mumbo: Yeah It kind of was. (sits in corner)
Doc: Absolutely terrible.
(Knock at the door, Xisuma enters)
Xisuma: Two civilian gentlemen to see you Doc.
Doc: Show them in please, Xisuma. And this time make sure its not Grian in disguise as a janitor or something. That was annoying to deal with last time.
Xisuma: Mr. Cub and Mr. Scar from Concorp.
(Cub and Scar enter looking shifty as usual)
Cub: Good morning, Doc.
Doc: Good morning gentlemen. What can I do for you?
Scar: (looking around the office casually) Nice base you got here.
Doc: Yes. It is. And before you comment on it, no it's not intended to be a turtle.
Scar: We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.
Doc: What? (actually surprised by the question)
Cub: No, what my associate means is it would be a shame if... (he knocks something off table. Doc glares at him)
Cub [Con'd]: Oh sorry. (Not sorry)
YOU ARE READING
Hermitcraft Oneshots
FanfictionCover was made by my friend @Gaybamaforprez (I still love that name lol) Mostly crack oneshots/incorrect quotes/skits/headcannons Might be actual oneshots or deleted things from my **********(hehehe I have something planned for the future) Characte...
