[17's 호시] LOVE ME ✔

diary entries

Note: not exactly part of the plot since this is my first draft for this story. take this as a gift for being supportive :))

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diary entry

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"it's seniors prom. you need to attend this time!" haneul has been pestering me about it since yesterday despite showing how uninterested i am.

well i will admit that i am interested. of course i am. during the first prom i couldn't attend because my parents brought me to japan for an interview and the whole anxiety i was about to go through when the 'night to remember' is coming--didn't come. i was too busy with work that i missed the occasion.

now haneul wanted me to go but i just can't bring myself to say yes.

what am i going to wear?

who's my parter in the entrance?

i need to dance?

confidence. i never had that.

haneul may be full of it, she can do anything, but i can't. people has been constantly pulling me down that i ended up pulling my own self down. i'm never going to be the same as haneul, no boy will ever talk to me first because they like me.

the times when boys approach me just to ask about haneul is uncountable. she's that kind of girl. a different level. a different beauty.

"babe, you're beautiful with or without make up. can you just stop being insecure? what do i have to do just for you to stop being insecure? you're pretty. very pretty."

i sigh. she doesn't understand. "this won't stop overnight, babe. i-i don't feel good about myself. please stop."

"but.."

"just tell me about it after. i swear it will be like i went there." i know she won't give up. so i went on ahead and grabbed my school bag. "i'm going home first. bye." i kissed her cheek then walked out with her calling me.

being the only daughter of someone as influential as my parents can be difficult. they said having celebrities as parents is so exciting but they don't know anything. the amount of people who post hate because i don't look as good as my parents..i can't count them. the memes, i used to laugh at them but now it only messed with my head.

she's adopted.

her parents looks so good. what happened to her?

yeah. what happened to me?

"how's school, baby?" mom asked, appearing from the kitchen.

i smiled, "it's fine mommy. where's daddy?" i noticed he's not around.

"he's out filming still."

"hm. i'll head up."

"sure thing, baby."

does it make me a bad daughter to hate how my mother believes me that easily? i remember getting punched by a student because he hates my father and he knew he can neve lay a hand on my father so he punched me instead. i got home with bruises and told them that i fell and they just believed me that easily.

maybe i'm just being selfish. it's still my fault for not telling them.

i sighed.

i'll just die alone. that way, i don't have to worry about my appearance much. who cares if i'm not as pretty as my mom when i'm alone?