Life After Marriage Book 3

Drowned Memories

I love you guys to pieces. And I am so grateful for your comments and responses on each chapter. You guys don’t know how special you are to me. I keep writing chapters because y’all keep supporting.  And until y’all say “Girl we tired of it.” I’mma keep slaying y'all lives and sending y'all into cardiac arrest lol.  XOXO

AUGUST P.O.V. –

I heard the patio door open and little feet run to me by the pool.

“You didn’t eat dinner so here.” Sata handed me a plate full of the food I had cooked them for dinner.

“Who you expect to eat all of this?” I smiled.

“You. You too skinny.”

“I’m too skinny?” I laughed.

She shook her head yes and handed me a fork. She sat by me, letting her feet touch the water.

“Why you been sitting by the pool all day?”

I couldn’t tell her I was looking at the water contemplating jumping in, because my reason for living had been ripped from me. Because I put my entire heart into a person, that misused it and my trust.

I couldn’t tell her  that my body felt so numb I couldn’t conjure up a tear. I had never felt this betrayed in my entire life. I was like an innocent child seeking their mother’s approval around Amb.

 “Mommy am I smart? Mommy do you love me? Mommy do I make you happy? Mommy do you like me better than any other man? Mommy if I buy you this house do you think I can provide. And so on and so on.”

And like a child who realizes their parent isn’t the hero you held them up as in your mind, I realize Amb was not who I thought she was. She was like every person in my life that had ever hurt me.

And for her to do that to me, when she knows I’m trying? To let another man fill your head with lies, when I tell you all the time you are beautiful. I love you. I don’t care about your size. I don’t care about your age. I just want you baby.

And she says they only kissed, but I don’t believe that. To let another man touch and be inside what was my sacred sanctuary, then come home to me look me in the eyes and tell me you love me and you’d never betray my heart?

And for the first time I realized as the saying goes, “Those who are heartless once cared so much.”

But betrayal made them go cold. Lies made them go cold. Broken trust made them go cold. And right now there was a hell of blizzard in this space called my heart.

I doubt highly if I could ever love anyone again, like I did Amb. I loved her so wholeheartedly and genuinely. If she needed my heart so that she could survive, I would gladly rip it out of my chest to put it in hers. That’s how deep my love ran.

But not anymore. I didn’t want her back. I didn’t want apologies. I didn’t want to work on it. I just wanted my last name back. From now on my focus is work and my kids, including O. Anybody else, was a fucking afterthought. And I mean that would every fiber in my being.

The only people on this earth who will ever see my heart is my  three amigos and that’s it. The only thing I had to say to Amb was sign these divorce papers. The only time I wanted to see her was when she was dropping my kids off home from school or if it was an event we both had to be at. Other than that. I didn’t want her around me. Period.

You betrayed me once with my brother, and I took her pitiful ass back. But betray me twice? You don’t get a second chance, and that’s fucking final.

“Daddy you listening to me?” Sata interrupted my thoughts.

“What you say bae?”

“I said why you been sitting at the pool all day, its night time and you got work tomorrow?”

“Just thinking.”

“What you thinking about?”

“How you, me, O and Auggie should do something fun this week?”

“What about mommy? I thought you said she’d be home later?”

I cleared my throat. “Umm me and mommy gon be apart for a while Sata.”

“That means she’s not going to be with us?”

“I mean she’ll be with you guys. We just not going to be living in this house together.”

“She didn’t want us?” She looked up at me with tears in her eyes confused.

“No, no, no, no babygirl its not that. Your mother loves you guys deeply. She just needed some time to herself. Aight?”

She shook her head she understood and wiped her eyes.

“So what y’all want to do this weekend?” I sat her on my lap.

“Uhh…we never went to the zoo.”

“That’s right. We’ll go this weekend. Aight?”

“Okay.”

“Gimme kiss.” I puckered my lips and she gave me a kiss.

“O and A3 sleep.”

“No, O’s going over facts with A3.” She sighed bored.

“Girl you better go up there and get your fact on to. Then y’all go to bed.”

“I guess.” She got up in a huff. “Good night daddy.”

“Night baby.”

I looked at my phone that was buzzing with the 100th call from Amb. I picked it up and threw it in the water. I had to live for my kids, but the memories of me and Amb were gonna drown right in that water with that phone.

AMBER P.O.V. –

I had tried to call August a million times to explain myself, but he never picked up. I had ruined things with Tanya for now, so I couldn’t call her. I didn’t want other people in my business so I couldn’t tell my mother or anybody else really.

I decided to get something to eat, so I ate by myself at Ihop. Only to come outside to find that someone had shattered all my windows and stole most of my things. I couldn’t even cry any more I was all cried out.

But obviously mother nature had to throw more dirt on my grave by making it not just rain, but pour. I knew although there was no one I could turn to, there was someone who might be willing to help. They lived not too far from the IHOP, so in the pouring rain, with shattered windows, water drenching the inside of my car, I made the trek to their apartment.

I parked my car, got my purse and ran into the apartment building. They buzzed me in. I went up to their third floor apartment.

“Baby what happened?” She looked at me totally drenched and grabbed my face in shock.  

“I…I messed up and I don’t know what to do.” I finally was able to find the tears that were lost earlier.  

She embraced me tightly

“Just like you helped me through. We’re gonna get through it.” She kissed my cheek.

“Thank you Nicki.” I sniffed, while still on her shoulder.

“Of course hun. Of course.” She closed the door behind us.