Loving yourself is hard. Trying to find love in a family who objectified you? Seems like work. But try finding love in someone as a hopeless romantic too.
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Smart, nerdy, pretty, and kind are all the words she's gotten used to. Being a Junior in...
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Saturday came and my whole morning was spent packing a few things for my overnight stay back with my parents in Malibu. Weekends are always for family and this was no different. I'm lucky enough to be living just an hour away so seeing them wouldn't feel so much like a chore.
A few clothes, textbooks, and my laptop were some of the few essentials I knew I had to bring so I did. Stuffing them into a suitcase and leaving LA for a little bit of quiet in a suburb Malibu, right next tot he ocean. We were lucky enough to buy a house there let me tell you that. With two golden retrievers and a husky, that house is a place of absolute serenity. Leaves me no reason to hate going back.
When I arrived, mom and dad greeted me with their big warm smiles with our three dogs coming to greet me like an old friend. I surely missed all of them and I couldn't wait to leave all my troubles behind even if it's just for a while.
I know Danica had never been a fan of my parents because she knew how much they despised her after knowing how much she's changed. She hated when I'd go back home but I'd argue that it was essential for me to have some time alone with my family and thankfully, she understood. But then again, I understood her attitude towards my family; I knew sometimes they can get a little opinionated.
The day went by and it was spent with mom and dad asking me about my studies, my current grades, my early applications to some of the most prestigious medical schools, and everything about school. As per usual, they checked up on my projects, schoolwork but barely touched on my band. It's pretty much the norm whenever I came home. Their interests are focused on my academic rulings and I definitely didn't mind. After all, a little compliment from my mother is a little bit of an ego boost.
We called some of our relatives back in the Philippines and they told us all about the large birthday parties they were so accustomed to. They spoke about the scorching weather and the mildly infuriating politics. Then with me, they asked me more so on my academia. I was happy to tell them and they received it well by teasing me about being the richest Collins in all of the land. Being the pride of the family.
I would laugh nervously thinking about it, just imagine the pressure but the pool in the backyard provided a safe place for me to dip in mt toes and let my mind loose.
I always hated talking about myself and hearing their expectations of me. It scares me and it isn't such a comforting thing to know that all my family is riding on me to provide for them in the near future; to be the model. They want my cousins to look up to me and considering I don't have siblings, I really have no choice but to fulfill that role for them.
Would it have been different if I wasn't alone?
Dinner came and I offered to cook. Mum always scolded me for learning how to cook late in my years. She'd always want me to spend hours upon hours on the kitchen cooking whatever it was that she wanted me too. Pasta, steak, Filipino food, and everything else. Though I wasn't a big fan of cooking, she made it a point that a woman must know how to cook. I may be wrong in thinking that, that is quite a sexist outlook but I couldn't say much more because my dad feels the same too.
