Loving yourself is hard. Trying to find love in a family who objectified you? Seems like work. But try finding love in someone as a hopeless romantic too.
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Smart, nerdy, pretty, and kind are all the words she's gotten used to. Being a Junior in...
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
I kissed him. Out of all the things I could've ever done to account for in that situation I kissed him. Before I knew it, I was in his arms by the lake in dancing snow and a glistening happenstance.
Perhaps it was my daring capability of finding the romance in everything and my desperation for it, but something pulled me right back to him. I figured something was horrible when I started feeling butterflies in my stomach at the mere thought of him. What I didn't know was the fact that it was a horrible right to feel that way.
I smile, feeling the small waves of the car and listening to the soft humming of the radio while Matteo drove us back.
After we kissed not much was said but the look in our eyes said more than enough. A dreamscape wrote on a winter day. This type of thing never made it out of my journal or romance books yet here we are.
What now? Yes it was a kiss and something was there but, we were too beguiled to even speak of it. The pit in my stomach surely isn't having the best of it either. I sighed, turning to the driver of this ride.
His peaceful now, relaxed with his eyes fixed on the road. I watched his lips fight off a smile as he turned to look at me. He was right when he said he sucked at emotions but who could blame him? A month ago this same guy would've been throwing stones at me, laughing at my inability to curse or my overly perfectionistic lifestyle. If you had told me a week ago that this same guy would act so gently then I would've wished you straight to hell.
"So," I started, fiddling with my fingers, looking down, "what are we?"
He stops at the red light, turning to me with a face of uncertainty. My heart stops.
"I don't know," he looks away in dismay. I frowned at his response but didn't think much of it. Frankly, I don't know what we are either.
I chuckled nervously as the greenlight blinked and said, "are...are we gonna figure it out or—"
"Evie, I—trust me when I say I'm not good with shit like this. I'm sorry." He cuts me off to my surprise, "every time I start to love someone, things turn and goes to hell, that's why I end up—"
"Whoa, whoa, what?" I flailed my hands around erratically, "who said anything about love?"
As soon as the words left my mouth, Matteo hits the break to fast that I almost hit the dashboard. Thereby the gas stop, we were stagnant. The realization hits us like a wall and we both stare into the void. The engine roared; the only sound there is besides the traffic outside the misty window. The radio stopped now.
Then the atmosphere between us shifted to something ominous. Like words want to be said but not one of us can have the courage. I just sat there, my heart attempting to run away from me while my fingers danced in circles in an attempt to calm.
Everyone knows loving and liking is a polarity.
"Evie, you know what I meant." He turned, "the moment I try to work something out with someone, I become the weakling. I become blind and forgiving. Do you know how many of those I've wasted on others? Why do you think I'm such a fucking monster?" My eyes widened at his admittance. His eyes were wild while his finger pointed to him, mocking himself.
