Loving yourself is hard. Trying to find love in a family who objectified you? Seems like work. But try finding love in someone as a hopeless romantic too.
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Smart, nerdy, pretty, and kind are all the words she's gotten used to. Being a Junior in...
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"I don't see the good in you."
Blowing smoke after a long day and into the night usually would help me get rid of anything; not this time.
Three weeks after she said those words and I still couldn't seem to get rid of it.
It's still some kind of joke to me how she was able to say that to my face. I never thought she had it in her. From the moment I saw that innocent face of her under the neon lights, never in a million years did I think she had so much of a chance of doing it.
She, her? Who am I kidding, the girl has a name.
Evangeline. I might have said that was a beautiful name but...nothing changed. It's still as beautiful as I first said it. And as for its bearer?
That's more than complicated.
"Hey, come back to bed, " I hear Jocelyn moan but I pay no attention to her. I continue to relieve myself with this half-done cigarette because I needed it more than I need her.
"Come on, really, why are you acting all so broody?" I hear her groan, "do you realize we just spent an hour going on with it?"
Someone tell me why I allow myself to be with this bitch.
"sta 'zitto, " I hissed, throwing the butt of the cigarette out the window before standing up, turning in the lights and slipping a shirt on.
"I don't speak Italian, " she groaned as I watched her shuffle in my bed half-naked and covering her eyes from the lights.
"I said shut up and now get out of my room, "
What was I thinking again when I agreed to this? When I came kissing her then fucking her straight after my mind was just confused, angry, and baffled. I wasn't thinking straight with all that alcohol in my system.
"Are you serious?" She shots up from the bed and my whole heart just jumped right out of my chest.
This isn't Jocelyn.
Those brown eyes, tanned skin, and plump, pink lips. The dark hair and innocent smile. That innocence- Evangeline.
"Hey! Are you seriously kicking me out?" She shouts and I blinked. The image disappears for a second - then I realize how stupid that was.
Why, out of anyone, would she be in my head like some type of forgotten dream?
I clenched my jaw and fists at the thought, knowing that she has been pestering my mind for quite some time now and it never gets any better. Those eyes are the kind that won't just disappear.
"Yeah, get out, " I growled, grabbing her purse and opening the door for her as she got dressed, frazzled by my call out.
"You're a fucking asshat, you know that right?" She cursed, carrying herself like a homeless girl outside the campus and I scoff.
