Under Control.

16. 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥-𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵

He stared down at the picture that he usually hid in his wallet at the back of his many credit cards. One had a little girl in uniform; a dark blue blazer, blue dress and white shirt. She had such a contagious grin. He could spot her in any crowd just by the mole on her upper lip. Her black silky hair in a pony tail, she looked graceful. It must have been before she got her braces, her teeth had noticeable gaps in between. Hunter smiled, he almost felt tears wail up under his eyes and he never ever cried. There were words written below the almost tiny passport sized photo.

'Karishma Naidoo, St Andrews Primary.'
'Grade 5A'

There were written words at the back. It was her handwriting. Cursive, he loved everything about it.

'For H, whenever I cross your mind, just know when you cross mine. I'm probably grinning like this. HBD, I love you.'

Hunter found himself feeling constraint. He was overwhelmed. Have you ever missed someone so much, your body ached?! Missed someone so much, the thought of them pricked like a wound that refused to heal and continuously begged for attention. Begged for her attention. This wound seemed to be growing bigger and hollow; more unbearable with each passing day. It didn't want anyone else but her. It yearned only for her attention.

The second picture made him tear up a bit. He had to pretend, he was yawning to wipe the tear away without Hailey and Ruby in the back seat seeing him do so. They were so occupied with whatever game they were playing on Hailey's iPad, it was a fashion game... playing dress up or something. He did not mean to zone out when they started talking his head off. The second picture was when him and Kari were cramped in a tiny photo booth, during their weekend in Disney world. It wasn't the usual romantic picture and that's why he loved it so much. He had allowed Kari to keep the romantic kissing and making face ones but this one was his. He had to keep it. The timer was about to go off and they were panicking. Kari couldn't stop laughing at how precise Hunter wanted to be with everything. Trying to sit on his lap, she accidentally kneed his other member. His face was priceless exhibiting a painful ache. Karishma was trying to comfort him and panicking. Hunter loved this image because it had a story behind it. It was them just being them. It wasn't a facade of act out for the timer. He absolutely adored this. Hunter remembered how Kari had bought him cotton candy right after, she felt awful no matter how many times; he said it was fine.

Breaking his train of thought, Ruby suddenly yelled... "...there's my mom..." Trying to be cautious, Hunter told them to stay put as he wanted to first converse with the mother. Making sure it really was her. This was the bad side of New York... it didn't seem safe and he did not just want to dump the child with a stranger who claimed to be the mother. Maybe he was reaching but he still wanted to be sure. He couldn't mess up. Rachel was counting on him to take care of the girls and everything while she was gone. She hardly ever did anything for herself.

Upon approaching the woman. Standing 5' 6" tall, and heavy with pale skin, this woman looked exhausted. She had light blue eyes and straight shoulder length hair. She looked decent but she was busy on a phone call. "Great just fucking great, fuck you Brad. I just knew I couldn't count on you. You're such a fucking cunt. You always disappoint her. Last week you said this week, this week you bailed again—" She paused. "No listen, it's my fault for ever even assuming you could be a decent father. It's time to grow up, grow up Brad because before you know it that little girl will grow up to hate you. She will be just as sick as I am of you."

"Ohhh wow, so now I taught her to hate you. It's my fault now? It's my fault you can't even spend a day with her not even an hour. How do I even bad mouth you and bullshit your name when you already do it on your own effortlessly."

The woman gave Hunter a hand signal 'just a moment'. Awkwardly sidling against the entrance of their building. Hunter put his hands in his pocket and making sure he had locked the girls in the car. They could be reckless at times and he had to constantly keep an eye on them. He felt embarrassed knowing that he was unashamedly listening to this one sided conversation.

Heaving an exhausted sigh, the woman walked back and forth. "...I'm sorry Brad, I'm really sorry but I'm filing for child maintenance. I can't keep feeling sorry for your sob stories. She needs to eat, she needs to go to school, she needs to be warm under a roof, she needs— she has a lot of needs. You should know that and you don't do much."

"No no Brad, taking her out to Popeyes that one time does not count for anything. No, buying her Nike air forces doesn't count either. You only take care of her when you feel like it."

"Can you shut up? Brad, it's time to get a job. Your band isn't blowing up. You're twenty-eight years old, please— this is why I left you. I can't handle this."

"I did, trust me I did. I supported and believed in your for so long since high school but I just reached a point where I had to grow up. Frankly you didn't."

"Yes, I know it's your dream. I'm not standing in the way of your dreams. All I'm saying is take care of Ruby, spend time with Ruby."

"...just—" she sighed. "Just get your shit together. I gotta go." Putting her phone in the back pocket of her faded skinny jeans. She turned her attention to Hunter.

"Hi—" she extended her hand. "Sorry about that. Uh- you must be Hailey's perfect dad... my daughter always raves about how perfect your family is." She joked but Hunter could sense a feeling of sadness and resentment in her voice.

"Not perfect." He chuckled back.

"Well from the looks of it. Your house, your wife and everything. My daughter talks an earful about how perfect your life is..." there was awkward silence.

"Trust me it's not and whatever you're going through. You will get through it. You have a smart amazing daughter, as an educator; I can only say some traits are given from parents."

Almost crying, the woman couldn't say a word. She had, a very long day. Lost her second job and had to hurry to her first job. It was overall a shitty day with Brad who failed to show up.

"Do you mind if she stays with you for the night, I-i have to rush to work, my ex is out of town and I can't call or think of anyone—"

"Look it's alright." Hunter assured her.

"Thank you, honestly it means a lot to me."

"It only means better company for my daughter." Hunter joked. "Do what you have to do. Which way are you headed, if you need a ride?"

"You're God-sent!!" She said.

Hunter felt good for the rest of the day. After feeling guilty and horrible for his deeds. Missing Kari, and everything in between. Doing something nice for someone else always felt great.

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