Under Control.

19. I dont date for fun

First date, he took her to an American bar food called Blueprint in Park Slope.
American 196 5th Ave. If there was anyone to fully welcome Karishma and give her a true American or rather New York experience it had to be Hunter. He grew up in the West Coast, Washington DC, went to college in LA then resided on the East coast, New York. Hunter had certainly been around. This certain spot had been one of his male student's suggestion. He had to ask, he wanted to impress Karishma. He did not want to seem out of touch or too old. That was after all Hunter's biggest insecurity in their relationship. From the looks of it no one could tell the nine year age gap but that was only because he was well groomed and took great care of himself, in and out of the gym.

One of the students whom he spoke to closely, Brent Hooper. Had this to say when Hunter asked for a first date spot suggestion. Brent was likeable and knew how to get around women. Hunter noted that, an educator could always tell what type of a student someone was. A loner, a crowd person, a noise person, an attention seeker, a focused person, a lazy person— they were always one step ahead and could tell; who to count on, who needed less of a push and who needed constant supervision.

"Sure thing, Mr. Clifford I thought you were married but anyways maybe you only just met this female, but you could maybe see yourself sharing a checking account with this person one day ya feel me and you don't want to have to tell your kids that your first date was at a place where Toto was playing nonstop on the jukebox."

He had jokes.

"So go to Blueprint in Park Slope, get a little booth with a marble table in the middle, and snack on some things like octopus and chicken liver toast. This is the nicest cocktail bar in the neighborhood and it's not ridiculously expensive. Here's what's up, it also has a back patio where you can try to locate the moon and offer it to her. You feel me?"

The date went according. Hunter was mesmerized and dumbfounded. He had no idea someone could be more beautiful than his wife. Once upon a time his wife had been the only beautiful woman in his eyes and now; he was conflicted. Beauty differed from person to person. Anyone else would have said Karishma was average but because Hunter was infatuated by her smarts and smile, he thought highly of her. The way she looked at him, made him confused and quiver with fear. He did not want to fall inlove with her. Hunter had no plan of taking this too far or as far as leaving his wife. He simply wanted to have sex with her then, he'd be over this obsession with her. It was hard because she made him do unthinkable things. He was taking her on a date ofcourse that had to mean something. It had to mean he was proposing a relationship with her. It scared him quite a bit but he was already there and dug the pit. She was a smart girl, he hoped she would not see right through his lust. Hunter always considered himself to be an honest man but it took one woman to derail him from his true values. She was sitting right in front of him unbeknownst to her that he would hurt her even if he promised he wouldn't. His intentions? Hunter did not know but he told himself, he'd just go with the flow.

"Where do you think this will take us? I don't mean to pry but I don't date for fun. I date with intention for a long term future. I know that makes me sound old fashioned but that's me." Karishma told him that night. He was dumbfounded, in all honesty she was a beautiful stunning girl but he did not see himself waiting for her on the alter... too soon Karishma, too soon. Hell! He did not even see her carrying his children. His family was not racist but they'd certainly raise heads if he brought an Indian woman home with the intention of a future and procreating with her. He wondered what their child would look like? He had never once came across a child of that mixture. Hunter felt horrid for even having such thoughts, Karishma was a sweet girl and here he was making slightly closet racist proclaims. He was rather as good as his family, closet racists would have been a decent definition. They did not go around making other races feel uncomfortable and saying derogatory terms but from a glance, you could tell they pitied and belittled them. It was in the way his mom changed her voice when she spoke to a person of color. They tend to become sweeter than usual when in the presence of a person of color; trying their best not to offend them. Hunter hated it. His mom would suddenly speak slow and low as if speaking to a first grader. It was offending because that type of attitude made it seem as if people of color were slower. He was aware his mother did not know she was offending anyone by the likes of it but it was still offensive. It was safe to say, Hunter was not looking for anything serious only some fun. Long term? He highly doubted it, he didn't want to break her heart. He figured later on after sleeping with her, he'd tell her. Him and his wife had fixed things. It shocked Hunter that he was becoming such a vile being. The bigger percentage of what they called 'men are trash' regardless he told himself, a little fun never hurt anyone. Him and Karishma would be fine.

"I understand that. I feel the same way about relationships but I don't mind if we just wing it and see where it goes..."

"No, I don't do casual. I don't sleep with men who are not my boyfriends. Casual just doesn't work for me. We can stop right here because I'm clear and precise with my intentions and I expect the very same from you." Karishma told him. It was then that it dawned onto him that he had to give more than he was willing to.

"I can respect that." He mumbled, unsure.

The date went on just fine but Karishma could sense a bit of indecisiveness with Hunter. She decided, she wouldn't sleep with him. Even when he showed her the condoms in his car and laid his hand on her thigh. She needed to be sure that he wasn't just another player. Karishma was afraid, he would go back to his wife and change his decision if that was the case, she would be happy for him but at that moment sex was off the table till he proved; he really wanted to be with her. He was serious about her. She needed to witness it first hand before let him enter her most sacred place. Sex and bond ties were real. Attachment after sex was real, Karishma believed that. She wanted to refrain from that. If her and Hunter were a mistake, it needed to be clear before they jumped into bed. Hypocritical of her to assume considering he had already at her out in his office. It was still mind-games at this point. She tried not to overthink the situation and just have fun.

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