Under Control.

28. 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧

It was just another Wednesday, back with Bonnie. Hunter was not sure if Rachel would show up. She was already twenty minutes late. Speaking for himself, he had only rolled out of bed for his daughter's sake. She deserved parents who communicated clearly and not with anger and bitterness. Hailey deserved much more than this. She couldn't just be another kid with separated parents. What made Hunter even more sick was the thought of Rachel bringing men home, going on dates and so on. The thought of Rachel introducing new men in his daughters life did not sit well with him. What would happen if Rachel changed a boyfriend every single month or season? Hailey would be forced to adjust to all types of men. The good, bad and pedophiles. Hunter's mind derailed as he went down a reddit rabbit hole each night. Reading confessions of people who grew up in a similar situation, innocent kids who were sexually assaulted by their uncles, step parents and so on. It angered him, there were so many vile people in the world and children would never be safe from these vultures that are so deranged as to seek pleasures from children. He was aware with the separation it only meant, he would not always be there to protect his little girl and that's the only thing he wanted to do. The thought of anyone abusing her because he is an absent father or because he couldn't be there ruined him internally.

He had not seen Rachel in days, ever since she left. They had not spoken either; not on the phone or in person. He only hoped she had cooled down and was ready to fix thing and have a civil conversation. After a day she always came around but now, it was very odd because she had not even initiated a conversation for going forward. A lot was going on for him, his co-workers seemed to be cooking up a storm in terms of his reputation. Overall work was just uncomfortable, the campus was huge, the chances of seeing Karishma was unlikely but she was after all in one of his classes and it proved to be difficult. Having had so much history with a person then having to pretend none of it happened or ever existed. For goodness sake they almost had a child together and— for them to pass each other like strangers was awfully agonizing. He knew her body so well and could puzzle it even in the dark, he found comfort in her touch and for him to have to apologize each time they accidentally nudge or touch or have physical contact proved to be difficult.

"I will be sure to speak to her another time, rather we not put this session to waste Mr Clifford." Bonnie interrupted his thoughts. "We can talk about you today?"

"Uh...that's alright, I suppose!" Hunter added sitting up straight. He watched as the middle aged woman wrote down some notes before looking back at him. At this point and time, he felt as if he was an experiment; why did she have to write anything down? Wasn't this a private session? He was hesitant, wanting to leave so badly but he was not looking forward to home, work or anything.

"How are you feeling overall?" Bonnie asked. Hunter immediately heaved a loud sigh. A sardonic laugh followed. She only stared at the young man with concern.

"Good." He muttered.

"Without honesty, we won't get anywhere Mr Clifford."

"...I feel like shit..." He sighed laying back on the grey couch. "Nothing is going my way. I might lose my job, I feel very anxious about everything. It's a lot, but I know being here right now is what's right."

"Right for who? you or your marriage?"

Thinking for a second, he murmured the words lowly. "...for my marriage..."

She nodded, then quickly turned to write down on her note book with one leg crossed over the other and her spectacle laid lowly on the bridge of her nose... Hunter felt as if he was being scrutinized.

"If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?"

Silence followed.