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"Goodbye Tae."
Just as when she said that and walks away, i stood there frozen. I wanted to hold her hand and never let it go. My shoulder falls down as i couldn't do anything. She did this because of me. For whatever reasons, i hated myself for being blinded with Sowon words and ignored everyone who's trying to correct me. I don't even know whom to believe anymore.
I can't still remember anything but i felt like I've been a fool all along.
I don't know what happened between us before but one things for sure, she holds a great portion of my heart. The way her shadows slowly fading away from my sight, my tear starts to fall.
"C-chaeyoung!" i shouted though i know it's too late.
"Chaeyoung!" i tried again
but she is gone.
I slumped on the floor as i silently cry and as i do a sudden pricking pain in my head starts to kick. I bite my lips i could even taste the blood from it and grab my hair pulling it hard as i shout from the pain. With tears heavily flowing down my cheeks I shouted for help but there's no one there to help me. The only person I know who's willing to help me, already went away.
I was in a mess as i hold my chest punching it hard to ease the pain while i grab my hair on the otherhand for both are aching so bad.
I close my eyes and that's when the memories flooded in my head. Still bawling, the same memories flashes to my mind like a movie i wanted to hold so bad. I was trembling ferociously , cursing from the pain when new sets of memories flashed right within me.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh." i shouted as i gripped my two hands on my head. It was too painful and excruciating. My breathes starts to slow as my heart pounds heavily.
Memories flooded in my mind like an avalanche. I saw myself smiling happily. I saw myself talking to that certain someone. I was so happy. I was inlove.
She showed me all sorts of emotions. She showed me how to trust. She was a companion. She was a friend, a lover, she was everything.
I was a crying mess.
And then i opened my eyes for the pain is immeasurable. It was like my head is about to burst especially with all those new memories i remembered. I wanted to ask help and as I crawl to go near my new phone, i stopped.
Darkness surrounded me as i shut my eyes and collapse on the floor.
+++++++
I shake my head as sweat falls down my face. My heart beats fast as i shake my head. I wanted to wake up but my body isn't moving. I wanted to shout but no voice left on my lips.
I was desperate.
It was like I'm slowly drowning in a deep ocean helplessly. No room for survival, mo room to breathe. It was like life suck the hell out of me but all i could do is accept my faith.
Tears stream down my face as i know i am trapped in the world of the unknown. I tried to kick one last time but to no avail i failed again and again.
It was like someone tied a rope in my body that i cant do anything but cry. Cry for help and cry for mercy.
And then I tried to calm myself down. Prayed and prayed. "Please help me God. I still want to live. Please don't take me away." i was pleading, sobbing, did everything just so I could come back to life and move. And before I knew it my little finger moved , I opened my eyes and gasped as I tried to breathe for air. A cough escapes my lips as the tear continues to fall.
I had a nightmare.
But it's not just a simple one.
My nightmare was a newfound memory I had last night before passing out.
"R."
I whispered in a hoarse voice.
"I..... I love R."
And when those words left out my mouth i immediately run to our room and rummage the drawers or anywhere I could possibly find my old phone. I was desperate to find who R is.
"Where are you?"
"Where are you?"
I mumbled as i try to find that old phone. It's the only way that could lead me to her. I want to see her. I want to ask her so many questions.
I want her.....
Back to my life.
My R.
"Please......please......please...."
I said over and over not even caring if i made a mess in the room. Desperate as it is, i run to each rooms in the house, check every nook and cranny trying my luck.
Then finally sat on the floor as i frustratedly brush my hair,
