Perfect Strangers

37| Stay

Chapter 37: Stay (Alex's POV)

I felt my heart breaking as he said those words to me. "You don't believe me?" I asked, my voice breaking. 

"Frankly, no," he shook his head. 

"Why?" I questioned. 

"Because you weren't in your right mind, Alex. You could have done something wrong and you either really don't remember because you were drunk, or you're using alcohol as an excuse to hide it," he said. 

"So, you think I cheated?" 

"Yes," he nodded. 

"With who?" 

"Hudson, someone else, I don't know," he shrugged. 

I can't do this. I can't. 

He really thought I would cheat on him with Hudson? He wouldn't believe me now, no matter what I said. Because he made up his mind. 

He simply didn't trust me. 

"Okay," I sighed in defeat. 

"Okay?" he asked. 

"Okay, Carter. You think I cheated. What do you want me to do?" I asked, trying my hardest to stay calm. 

"You're not even gonna deny it?" he laughed humorlessly. 

"I already did. I told you earlier and I'll tell you again. I did not cheat on you. I love you." His eyes snapped to mine. "I would never do that. But you don't believe me. Because you never trusted me," I concluded, "Even though I never gave you a reason not to." 

"This is reason enough. I'm leaving." 

"You have to stay," I blurted out. He stared at me. "Stay. Stay right here, and stand right there. Say what you want to. Say everything you want to and then be on your way. Don't you dare leave without saying things you want to." 

I didn't want him to leave this on a cliffhanger. I wouldn't be able to take it. Closure was necessary. Without it, I'd lose even the little composure I currently had. 

"Why, Alex? Why will that matter?" 

"Because we both deserve that closure. Don't we?" 

He sighed, running his hands through his hair. I watched as he formed fists and stared at the ground. 

"Just do it, Carter. Twist the knife," I mumbled under my breath. 

"It's over." 

I let out a shaky breath while closing my eyes tightly. I only opened them when I heard my front door open and then close. I ran up the stairs immediately, locking my bedroom door behind me before sitting on my bed. I stared off into space for a really long time, trying to make myself understand that this wasn't a nightmare. This was reality. 

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, Alex. Do not cry. 

I fell back and stared at the ceiling, trying to swallow past the aching lump in my throat. I stared at my walls, my eyes drifting to the sketches he had given to me. I looked away from them and lay down, muffling my cries into the pillow. I sobbed, I yelled, I bawled my eyes out. 

I woke up after that to darkness. 

I must have fallen asleep while crying. 

I lay there and replayed the moment in my head. "How could he not trust me? If he loved me so much, why didn't he believe me?" I asked myself. 

Did I do something wrong? 

I could hear the doorbell ringing repeatedly, but I didn't even bother moving. I just hoped whoever it was would eventually leave. But when they didn't, I mumbled curses and crawled out of bed.