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Third Person
Joey, Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are sitting in central perk like they do everyday chatting about stuff. Ross enters and greets the others glumly. "Hi."
"This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself." Joey quips from the chair he is sitting at.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Monica asks her brother.
"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck..." Ross describes vividly.
Chandler offers Ross a plate of cookies. "Cookie?"
"Carol moved her stuff out today." Monica explains to the others. They nod their heads in understanding. "Let me get you some coffee."
"Thanks." Ross sits down on the couch next to Phoebe.
Phoebe starts plucking at air around Ross' head. "No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?" Ross groans.
"Fine! Be murky!"
"I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy." He tells them but none of them believe it.
"No you don't."
"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!"
"And you never knew she was a lesbian..." Joey asks.
"No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?" Ross asks frustrated.
"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian..." Chandler says not looking up from his newspaper. "Did I say that out loud?" He asks noticing the weird looks his friends are giving him.
"I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well."
"Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?" Monica asks sarcastically.
"Sorry." Ross apologises.
"Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" Joey gestures to Ross. Ross signals him to continue. "Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!"
"I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!" Just as Ross says this a woman in a beautiful white wedding dress runs into the café.
"And I just want a million dollars." Chandler says waving his hand to the door. Instead of what Chandler wanted a person in a suit runs in following the woman.
"Oh man the grooms arrived." Joey whines.
"Well, that's not what I wanted." Chandler says brows raised.
