Oneshots {supernatural)

Him {Destiel}

Teenage AU, trans Castiel
Trigger warnings:
Internalized homophobia

"What?" That was the first thing that fell from Dean's lips as he looked to the other. His foot still pressed on the impalas break, hands tight around the steering wheel. His grip only tightened, as if that was the only thing keeping him grounded, keeping him sat in the car, instead of running as far as he could.

Dean opened his mouth again to speak though nothing seemed to calm out, not that he even knew what he even wanted to say.

A honk blared from behind, and quickly Dean's gaze was brought back to the road, his foot hitting the gas. His gaze stayed locked a head, on the dark street that spread out before, though despite his twisting stomach he couldn't help but glance towards the other. Castiel, not Jessa, his boyfriend, not girlfriend.

"So you're-"

"A boy?" Je-Cas's voice stayed steady, his blue eyes burning against the side of Dean's head. "Yes."

He didn't know how the other stayed so calm, his own heart racing. Each beat ringing through his ears, making it impossible to focus on anything else, even the road in front.

"Okay."

They didn't speak after that, the car sitting in a heavy silence, not even the low music enough to break it. Each shift, each breath, it was all too much. Felt too wrong, too stiff.

Dean looking forward, eyes on the road. While Castiel sat next to him, seeming frozen in place.

It wasn't until they pulled up to Cas's house that Dean finally looked to the other, his gaze darting across Cas's features, casted in shadows, though still very much visible. His sharp jawline, long hair that fell to his mid back, and blue eyes. Eyes Dean had spent hours looking at, studying, admiring, falling for.

He'd thought he'd spend the rest of his life staring at those eyes, though now, as they stared intensely back at Dean, they brought nothing but an uneasy feeling to his stomach.

"We need to talk." Dean whispered, his voice empty, dreading the words to come. "I- we," the words didn't seem to come easy, no matter how much Dean knew they had to. "I think we should break up."

Cas's lips parted, eyes widening slightly, though before he could speak Dean cut him off. "It's not you, I'm just- I'm not you know," Dean took a hesitant breath, an unbearable pain burning at his heart. "I don't swing that way."

"Yah," Cas replied, voice emotionless. "I know."

"So," the word came out slow, not as casual as Dean had intended, though he had nothing else to say, just wanting out of the stiff atmosphere that had settled in the car, suffocating his breath. Had it been this hard to breathe before, Dean wasn't sure. "I'll see you at school?"

Cas's gaze darted to Dean, his blue eyes wide, hazy even through the darkness, something that only made the turning in Dean's stomach worse, a dreaded feeling mixing in. The others lips parted only slightly for a second as if he wanted to say something though quickly decided against it. Instead he turned away, pushing the impalas door open.

"Bye," Dean whispered, though no reply came, the passenger door only slamming shut.

For a moment Dean didn't pull away, instead letting his eyes close, a shaken breath parting his lips as he processed the past few minutes. The date had started out perfect, ice skating, then a walk through the park where they made plans for winter formal, everything normal, fun, the kind of nights that only made Dean fall more in love with the other.

Then things turned, once they'd gotten back in the car and Cas had become quiet.

Dean had asked what was wrong.