Anything For You, Beks [Heartbreak Series #1]

Chapter 37: Niah

tw: abortion

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CHRYSANTHEMUM

I just found myself crying on Jyll's shoulder. It's been years since the last time I have done this. He's not talking nor moving. His hands are resting on my back. He did not even caress it but all I felt was comfort.

Ako na ang naunang kumalas sa yakap niya. I wipe my tears away and then started walking again. I need to find Niah. Something's really wrong with her and I need to do something.

She isn't the badass type. May pagkamaldita 'yon pero matino namang mag-aral 'yon. I need to talk to her to know her reasons. The past few weeks, she had been acting peculiar. Late na siyang umuuwi ng bahay at nagkukulong lang sa kwarto. Hindi ko naman pinapansin dahil sa totoo lang, nasanay na akong walang tao sa bahay at ako lang mag-isa.

Iniisip kong baka may problema siyang iniinda at sinasarili. Nakakatakot kasi medyo mahina pa naman ang loob no'ng isang 'yon. O baka naman may nangyayari na sa kaniyang hindi namin alam. Maybe she's being a rebel or ewan! I can think a lot of reasons why pero ayokong mag-entertain ng masama.

"Okay ka na?" Hindi ko alam na sinundan pala ako ni Jyll.

"Wala ka bang klase?" Sinubukan kong ibaling sa ibang bagay ang usapan. I wanted to act like he didn't hug me while I'm crying. I wanted to act like I wasn't hoping. Ayoko nang umasa. Besides, I still have to address something. Ayaw ko na munang isipin ang sa aming dalawa ni Jyll.

"I have," he answered, sighing. "But I can't just let you go somewhere, may pagka-impulsive ka pa naman."

I looked at him and arched my brow, "I know what I'm doing. Ano bang alam mo?"

Ayoko mang ibuntong sa kaniya ang frustrations ko, pero gusto kong isigaw sa kaniya lahat right now. Sino ba siya? Sino ba siya at parang alam niya lahat ng nararamdaman ko? No, he doesn't know, he doesn't care. Kasi kung oo, hindi siya gagawa ng mga bagay na mas lalong magtutulak sa'kin para mas mahulog pa sa kaniya. Kasi kung alam niyang nasasaktan ako dahil sa kaniya, he wouldn't do things like hugging me, holding my hands and acting jealous.

"Wala kang alam," I answered. "Kaya pwede ba Jyll, just leave me please." He didn't answer anything. He just left me there.

I went back to the classroom just to get my things. Balak kong magpaalam kay Ma'am Ladesma na sumama ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi na rin muna ako a-attend ng meeting ng council mamaya. Maybe I'm just gonna cancel or let Gallego handle it.

As I'm taking my step on the stairs, someone pulled my hand from behind. The first person that came to my mind is Jyll, hindi pa rin niya ba ako tatantanan? But to my surprise, it was Marmyx. Ongoing ang class nila ngayon, ah?

"Did you cry?" Nag-aalalang tanong nito sa akin. He examined me carefully before looking straight to my eyes. "May ginawa na naman ba sa'yo si Jyll?"

Umiling ako. Wala ako sa mood na magpaliwanag o makipag-usap. Gusto kong umuwi or pumunta sa kung saan para makita at makausap ang kapatid ko. Maybe she needs me and I need to know what's happening to her.

"Bakit hindi ka sumasagot?" His face looks even more worried than earlier dahil hindi ako nagsasalita. I was just staring at him. "Jazz naman."

Sa ibang oras siguro, I will glare at him when he's calling me my second name. But no, not right now. Masyadong maraming tumatakbong bagay sa utak ko para pansinin pa 'yon.

"Marmyx," seryosong sabi ko. I don't want to speak but I need to tell him something. Halatang nagulat siya nang first name niya ang ginamit kong pantawag sa kaniya. "Please cancel the meeting later."