Love Conquers All

Chapter 6

JESY'S POV

"Perrie do you want to go for a drive" I asked as Jade and Leigh-Anne cleared the table.

"yeah sure" she smiled

God this women will be the death of me one day I've never met anyone so mesmerising everything she does makes me go crazy and that smile just melts my heart.

Once everything was tidied up we go our coats on and left. Perrie insisted on driving so I let her.

"where would you like to go" she asked as she started the car.

"erms somewhere quiet and peaceful so we can talk" I replied trying to not to show how nervous I am about what I wanted to tell her.

"I've got the perfect place" she beamed.

After about 10 mins I realised where we were going...it is the hill we went to on our date a few weeks ago with the view on the town. She parked the car and we got out and I walked to the same spot we sat in last time.

"never fails to take my breath away" Perrie stated looking at the view.

"yeah"

"are you okay" she asked

"a little" I couldnt lie to her no matter how much I tried I just couldnt do it.

"whats up"

"I've erm been thinking and you told me something big about your past and so I want to tell you something about my past because its something I feel you need to know, I've never told anyone the whole story the only person who knows it is my mum and sister people only know bits" I said looking straight in front of me. Perrie didnt say anything just waited for me to carry on. So I just came out and said it.

"I've got really bad depression and I used to self harm and tried to end my life " I sighed

"what, why" Perrie asked shocked.

"where do I start"

"the beginning" she said grabbing my hand. I took a deep breath and just let it all come out.

"when I was about 7 my dad left didnt say goodbye or anything we just woke up one morning and he was gone, I remember crying and crying because I didnt understand what was happening, anyway he soon got in contact again he had moved to Holland coz he used to work there. Anyway for the first few years he would ring once or twice a week and would come over and see us twice a year and then in the summer holidays we would go over there. I loved it because he would always get us stuff that we wanted but then I hated it because I knew I would have to say goodbye and I never knew when I would see him again and it broke my heart every single time. A few years later he met someone and soon the calls and visits would get less and less he would use the excuse he was working or didnt have the money or some silly excuse. Over the years he started to change like become more up tight and sensibe and boring it was like he didnt know how to have fun anymore and it was all because of his new girlfriend. Its like he stopped caring about us we would speak maybe once a month and maybe see him once year they even got married and didnt invite us to the wedding. The older I got the more I started to see what he was like and that my mum was right but I didnt want to believe it because hes my dad yano and every girl wants a dad. I never used to act myself around him because I was scared that I would disappoint him so I acted different just so he would love me because I always felt like it was my fault he left so I wanted to be the perfect daughter anyway I'm blabbering" I half laugh my gaze not leaving the view.

"he treated us like shit would make me fee worthless and that I wasnt good enough I mean if my own dad didnt want me who would? he completely fucked up my head and my emotions, when I was 14-15 I started self harming because I didnt know how else to cope and thats how it started and I used to get bullied at school coz of my weight etc which just added to me hating myself even more. the older I got the more I understood and the worse I got I learnt how to turn my emotions off and just bottle everything up inside because for me it was easier coz then I wouldnt burden people with my probems I was trapped in myself. A few years ago I fell in love and gave this person my heart Im so careful who I open up to because I dont want to risk being hurt again because its too much but I gave this person my heart and they stamped all over it and I was the worst I've ever been and tried to kill myself and it was then that I realised I needed help so I got it and I finally got the courage to tell my dad I didnt tell him about the self harm etc I just said I cant do it anymore that hes but me through hell etc and I started to get my life back on track he still tries well when were good enough for him once in a blue moon but I ignore him my sister doesnt understand why but if she was inside my head she would know why. I havent cut or anything in a long while yeah I still get the thoughts but I can control them now and I'm in a good place" I finished.

PERRIE POV

I cant believe what I just heard how could you do that to your own child. I dont understand how she could hate herself either I mean shes perfect shes hot and sexy need I go on.

"I-I dont know what to say"I stuttered

"Its okay" she replied looking at me half smiling at me.I said the first thing that came to my head.

"why me" I asked

"what do you mean"

"why me why tell me you said you havent told anyone"

"I dont know theres just something about you Perrie you just break my walls down without even trying and normal I fight so hard to keep them up coz I'm that scared to get hurt but with you I just let them fall it scares the hell out of me" I couldnt but smile a little making me blush.

"why you smiling"

"it makes me happy to know you trust me and that you took the courage to tell me what you just did it makes me admire you even more"

"Thanks" she said half smiling.

"yano I'll never hurt you and your not alone now if you want to be alone i'll leave you alone if you want to talk im all ears if you just want a hug im here" I smiled looking in her eyes.

It was like the first time I saw her all over again getting lost in those eyes and in that moment I knew I was ready, ready to be with Jesy I owe it to myself to give it a try. I felt myself lean forward as my eyes closed my heart beating like 10x its normal rate I suddenly felt our lips connect causing fireworks to explode all over my body. I felt her kiss me back and It felt like I'm on cloud 9. The kiss wasnt a heated one but a slow romantic kiss it was amazing it was like everything around us just disappeard and it was just us two. I hope this is my last first kiss.

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Hope you guys like this chapter everything Jesy says is what happened to me....it's all true it's my life it took a lot of courage to write it (and that's not even everything but yeah)
Life may throw challenges your way but don't quit at the first hurdle you were given your life's because you are strong enough to live.....anyway enjoy and not hate