addiction - draco malfoy

nine

i dressed more like myself for this party. well, like a more extreme version of myself. i did this everytime i started talking to a new boy, i'd present the weirdest possible version of myself to see if they could take it. my dress sense wouldn't even be that weird in the muggle world, i'd seen plenty of girls dressed like me when my mother had took me for a day out in london before she shipped me off to rehab. it had surprised me, because i was so used to sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the skinny jeans and snakeskin crop tops in the hogwarts non-uniform spectrum. ripped tights, ruffled miniskirts, band t-shirts and demonia boots were just not on their wavelength. i had a good charlotte t shirt on today, and from the looks i'd gotten already it was like i was a different breed. god knows how they'd react to the heavier stuff. i suppose anything must seem weird to them, when their idea of good music is dance monkey. it once played seventeen times at a party, until someone spilled a drink on the speakers. it still remains a mystery to this day, weird right?

i looked cool. well, my version of cool. i looked like what lily describes as a 'charity shop monster high doll', and i'm wearing the kind of outfit emma lies and says she likes. you can always tell when emma's lying, because she wrinkles her nose. i learnt the hard way years ago not to ask her how i looked, unless i wanted to brittle truth.

satisfied, i grabbed a packet of malboro out of my draw and stuffed it in my pocket along with my purple lighter. i normally didn't smoke malboro, but malfoy had let me keep the packet from last week. i didn't smoke much, truth be told, only socially. i used to, but once i'd started on the heavier drugs i found it didn't take the edge off anymore in comparison. emma and lily were already down at the party, i hadn't actually told them i was going. they assumed i was with my mystery date right now and i wasn't about to correct them. if they knew i was at the party, they, emma, would just worry. if luck was on my side, by the time i got there they'd be too drunk to notice me amongst the crowds. plus, it must be a pretty big party if hufflepuff's were going too. slytherin parties were normally just that, slytherin. i couldn't remember the last time i'd been to a mixed house party.

don't lie. that party was a mixed house.

shut up.

i pushed the voice out of my head, slamming out of the dorm so fast i forgot to grab a jacket. i just wanted to be at the party, listening to the music so loud that i can no longer hear my own thoughts. i should have grabbed an aux cord, there's no doubt they'll have some kind of shitty music on. if it wasn't for me, i just know we'd be listening to chris brown at these parties. wife beater music.

you would know.

there was no way this party wasn't going to get shut down. they'd reopened the chamber of secrets for it, in an attempt to block out the noise, but you could hear it from all the way down the corridor. moaning myrtle was sitting in the corner dejectedly, her hands over her eyes to block out the noise of Juice WRLD on the speakers. i knew how she felt. i smiled at her sympathetically. after all, we had invaded her bathroom, it couldn't hurt to be polite.

i crawled through the gap, this was definitely the biggest party we'd had in ages. i could see at least a handful from every house, and i immediately started scanning the crowd for cedric, spotting him standing in the corner with his friends. i grabbed a cup off the side, downing whatever was in it. i don't know what it was, but it hit my head fast. it made me ballsy.

'hey' i grinned, coming to a halt right in front of cedric. 'hey' he smiled back, looking me up and down, 'you look nice'.
'thanks. you don't look so bad yourself'. he laughed at that, turning to face his friends. 'i'll catch up with you later' he told them, and they smirked, nudging each other pointedly.

he turned back to me, taking my hand and leading me away. 'wanna get out of here?' he asked and i nodded gratefully. even though it was so busy, i still had anxiety in my stomach at the thought of emma or lily spotting me. we climbed back out of the chamber, making our way along the corridor. 'wanna go to the slytherin common room?' i suggested 'i can sneak you in...'
he nodded 'sure'. i snatched a dejected slytherin tie that was hanging off a plant pot and wrapped it around his neck, smiling. 'there, you look the part. now just shut up'.

'password?' the painting demanded, eying us. normally, she didn't even ask me. she must have been suspicious. 'halfblood' i answered smoothly, slipping my hand into cedric's when i saw the way she was staring at him. she rolled her eyes, clearly not caring and swung open. the common room was deserted for once, i figured everyone must be at that party. it probably wouldn't be long until it got shut down, and for once i was glad i wasn't there. i could do without the detention.

'sit down' i dragged cedric over to the couch, sitting down and tugging on his arm to encourage him do the same 'nobody will be here for ages'.
'does it matter if they are?' he smirked and i flushed bright red, smacking him with a pillow. 'you know that's not what i meant, i just meant so you wouldn't get in trouble'.
'if you say so'.
'i do!' i protested, laughing 'i can't stay long anyway, i have somewhere else to be soon'. i looked at the clock anxiously, knowing draco was probably wondering where i was. we'd said 'same time next week' and technically we were now past that time. by almost an hour. 'got another date?' he queried.
'something like that'. i paused, trying desperately to think of what to say. why would i ask him to leave the party? i was in unknown territory now. at least at the party there would have been things to make awkward small talk about.

'you look pretty tonight' cedric said 'pretty good i mean. i like the way you dress'. i wasn't really sure what to say, so i smiled at him again and lit a cigarette, offering the pack to him. 'are you allowed to smoke in here?' cedric asked, his eyes wide. 'are we allowed to host parties in the chamber of secrets?' he shrugged, taking a cigarette out the packet. i passed him the lighter, watching as he struggled to light it. he inhaled deeply, immediately choking. 'i don't really... smoke' he admitted between coughs, passing the cigarette back to me. 'i can tell' i took the cigarette from him, sticking it in my mouth next to my other one. 'two at once?'
'i'm not wasting it' i said indignantly, as he pulled a face. i finished them both, stunning them out on the table and hiding them under a plant pot.

'i should probably go' i told him apologetically. i probably would have stayed longer, but i felt so awkward. i'd forgotten how hard it was to hold a conversation with boys sober, there was a reason i'd never had more than a drunk hookup. 'wait' cedric sighed, jumping to his feet as i stood up. 'what?'.
'do you wanna, do something? like some night this week?' he tripped over his words slightly, like he was nervous. i didn't really get that. the cedric diggory, was nervous about asking me on a date. the winner of the twiwizard tournament, the most popular boy in school was nervous to ask the most average looking specimen to ever exist out. 'sure'.
'what? really?' he asked, stepping closer to me. 'yes, really. but i also really have to go'. it was weird, now i'd stood up i suddenly felt so bad about leaving malfoy waiting so long, and i felt an extreme sense of urgency to see him now.

i started to walk away towards the boys dorms, figuring malfoy was probably waiting in there. 'wait, again' cedric called, walking after me. i didn't get a chance to ask what, before he cupped my face and kissed me gently. so gently it was like he was scared i would crumble underneath him. 'bye' he grinned sheepishly, turning on his heel and walking back towards the painting.

scrap my entire upload schedule school is so hard i'm so stressed i'll update as much as i can for you.