addiction - draco malfoy

twenty

draco frowned at the cluedo board, seemingly absorbed in thought. i could tell it wasn't thought regarding the game, but i supposed i wasn't in any position to be nagging him for his secrets. not when i was keeping so many of my own. instead i started up the conversation again, keeping it as light and strictly board game related as possible. i'd found an old packet of pain medication in my bedside table. i had no idea how it had gotten there, because i could have sworn i'd searched this exact drawer just a week ago in desperation and found nothing. still, i wasn't complaining, and i felt the familiar charm come easily to me that always came when i was high. the confidence was a side effect of the drugs, but this felt different to me for some reason. it was like i could simply order someone to do something, and they'd no doubt do it.

i realised i'd actually grown quite fond of draco malfoy in the few months i'd been hanging out with him, and his silence was troubling me more than i'd like to admit. i'd run out of ideas to distract him though, and was honestly debating just asking for the drugs to push him into a state of blissful ignorance. he surprised me though, getting the drugs out first and busying himself dividing them up. it wasn't like him to be the one to suggest drug use anymore, normally i had to cajole him into it. whatever was on his mind was clearly really bothering him.

i figured it was best not to ask though, and i watched as he finished and lay on the hard floor, staring up at the ceiling blankly. i took this opportunity to pocket the bag, figuring i could have my share later when i was alone. it didn't seem like the time, and besides i'd had the pain medication anyway. i lay on the floor next to him, resting my head on his chest and taking comfort in the steady heartbeat i could feel. he wrapped his arm around me, tracing shapes along my forearm and even though i wasn't looking at him, something told me he was smiling. my eyes fluttered, and i welcomed the familiarity of sleep.

-

something jolted me awake. i wasn't sure how much later it was, but draco was still snoring softly, his thumb still subconsciously drawing circles on my side. i could sense another presence in the room however, and looking up i could immediately tell it wasn't crabbe, goyle or blaise. in the corner of the room, standing as always, was the familiar face of the smiling man. i hadn't seen him since that first time, but his face had flashed through my mind often enough. 'hello elizabeth' he said calmly, and somehow that was even more sinister to me. i could put it down to my imagination, or perhaps even a ghost before. neither of those could hurt me, not physically. this was clearly a real person though, or at the very least some kind of non metaphysical supernatural creature. that scared me.

'get back' i tried to say strongly, but my voice wavered in the middle. part of me was still convinced this was some kind of mental episode, and i was glad draco hadn't woken up to witness it. the voice laughed, but there was no warmth in it. 'or what? you'll cast a spell on me?'. he held up two wands, leaning against the wall lazily 'i have your wands' he announced, as if it wasn't self explanatory.

well done. couldn't even keep a firm hold on your wand. too busy snuggling with the malfoy boy.

i flinched at what the voice had said, berating myself for my stupidity, but i couldn't focus on that now. i felt the familiar burning in my hand and i grinned in spite of myself. maybe he had my wand, but i had a one up on him in elements of surprise. i wasn't stupid enough to attempt to attack him with something as large as the bed. i hadn't even been strong enough to master up moving paper when i'd persisted trying the past few days. but i could feel the energy in my hand now, something was calling to me, obviously wanting me to use it. i wasn't going to waste it, and i scanned the room for something manageable i could use as a weapon.

my eyes rested on the candlestick, standing on the dresser at the foot of crabbe's bed. it was light enough that i could use it, but it had a pretty sharp edge that could probably do some damage if driven with enough force. it was as good a bet as any. i held my hand out forward, flicking my wrist and physically feeling the energy pushing the candlestick through the air towards him. it flew with a terrifying force, and i'd obviously caught him by surprise because he just barely stepped back in time to dodge it. the candlestick hit the wall with a bang, sticking into the plaster and staying upright in the wall like a spear. i blinked, i hadn't realised i'd thrown it that hard.

'well. that was unexpected' the voice said, and i couldn't help but marvel at the calmness in his voice despite it. if i'd nearly been stabbed in a neck with a candlestick, i think i'd be pretty nonplussed. not to mention the fact that a seventeen year old girl had seemingly thrown it through the air with her mind. the noise of the candlestick must have awoken draco though, because i sensed him stirring behind me. i turned to him, temporarily distracted and ready to tell him exactly what had happened.

you idiot. there's no time.

while i was getting better at ignoring the voice, this time i knew it was right, and i turned back to where the smiling man had been standing. had was the correct word, because he had completely vanished. the candlestick in the wall, and the wands laid in a neat pile in the bed was the only telltale signs i hadn't imagined it. 'elizabeth?' draco queried 'what happened?'.
'nothing' i said quickly 'let's just go to bed'. he looked reluctant, but was clearly too tired to argue, clambering into bed and wrapping his arm around me as i did too. i couldn't explain this to draco, not until i knew what had happened myself. explaining it to him would mean explaining to him what happened with the candlestick, and i didn't want to give that up without good reason.

draco fell asleep within minutes, but i sat up bolt upright the entire night, on guard. it troubled me that despite the circumstances, i had been about to willingly kill someone. there was a darkness inside of me, the same kind that i could feel myself tapping into whenever i used that magic. i wasn't sure i liked it.