addiction - draco malfoy

fifteen

'elizabeth wait up'. i turned around to see cedric diggory jogging across the courtyard towards me. 'hey' i smiled.
'hey, i haven't seen you for a while, thought maybe you were avoiding me'.
'no, of course not' i protested 'i've not really been seeing much of anyone, i've been' i paused 'busy'. busy snorting lines in the astronomy tower alone every night, but he didn't need to know that. i hadn't seen much of anyone recently, apart from draco every saturday night. i'd managed to smuggle a little bit of cocaine away from his room every saturday, just enough to get me through the week.

emma and lily had asked where i'd been going, but it was easy enough to fool people who really didn't want to know the answer. they knew when i started to spiral like this there was no stopping me, nothing they could say or do that would fix it. they just ignored it, until i was in a hospital bed and they couldn't ignore it anymore. then i'd get out, promise to stay clean, try to stay clean. the longest i'd ever lasted was five months, before i let the cycle start again.

i kicked a pile of leaves, watching them flutter in the breeze. it was mid november now, and it had been a rainy one. this was the first time since halloween that the leaves had been dry enough to kick. 'i came to your dorm a couple of nights ago, but you weren't there. lily answered and said you were at a boys place' he said awkwardly.
'i wasn't' i replied quickly 'that was a lie i made up to stop them asking questions'.
'oh' cedric paused 'where were you then?' i couldn't tell him. 'family stuff' i shrugged. i knew he wouldn't ask too many questions this way. i really needed to stop lying about family issues to avoid answering questions.

'do you wanna go on a date sometime?' he blurted. 'what?' i turned to look at him, seeing he'd flushed bright red. 'don't make me repeat it' he laughed.
i giggled like an actual child, blushing hard when i realised that i'd not even answered him yet. 'you know i would'.
'great' he smiled, 'i'll see you around then?'. he looked around, hesitating, before wrapping me in a quick hug and walking away quickly.

i grinned again, skipping like a child when i knew he wasn't watching. cedric diggory was actually, genuinely, interested in me. 'what are you so happy about?' emma laughed, as i caught up with her at the entrance to the castle. 'just life' i grabbed her hand, twirling her around and giggling. emma looked tired, like she'd knew something had been up. she thought i was okay now, and while i could tell she wasn't fully buying it, she wasn't going to press it. she'd pretend everything was okay for as long as she could, because even if she admitted it wasn't, there was nothing she could do to fix it. i took her hand, continuing to skip alongside her until we reached the library. emma has been complaining all week that i'd needed to study, so i'd eventually given in.

emma pushed the door, knocking back when it didn't open. 'it's locked' emma shook her head 'that's weird'. she reached down and put her hand on the tiny lock, so small we hadn't seen it initially. emma sighed, shaking her head and turning around. i reached over, touching it, wishing it was open. i felt a burning sensation in my hand, spreading up my arm, and then the lock simply dropped off. emma turned around, hearing it hit the floor and her mouth dropped open. 'how did that happen?'.
i shrugged, forcing myself to look as normal as possible. 'i don't know, the lock was loose i guess'.

emma narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not believing me, but she chose not to pursue it. 'well we clearly shouldn't be in there, no matter what. let's just go back to the dorm'.
'you do that' i told her 'i forgot, i have to meet... someone'. she raised her eyebrows but let me go. i waited until she was out of sight, before making my way down to the girls bathroom that nobody used, the one that led to the chamber of secrets. moaning myrtle was here, obviously, but i doubted she'd tell anyone. even if she did, she was positively loopy. nobody would believe her.

i got in, scanning the bathroom. there was nobody in here and no myrtle. weird, but i wasn't complaining. i sat on the floor, pulling a notebook out of my bag and ripping a sheet out of it. i lay it on the floor, leaving it for a minute to check there was absolutely no draught that could move it. and then i concentrated, feeling the heat tingly sensation spread across my body again. i reached across to touch the paper, but didn't even get close to touching it before it flew across the room. 'amazing' gasped myrtle behind me, making me jump 'we haven't had someone like you for over thirty years. and before that at least fifty'.
'what do you mean, someone like me?' i demanded 'you mean there's other people that can do this?'.
'maybe i mean that, maybe i don't' myrtle wailed 'if there is, they're either dead or nowhere to be found'.
'so there is?' i asked and myrtle just smiled, disappearing back into the stall she'd presumably came out of.

i huffed, waking over to collect the paper and stuffing it back in my school bag, slinging it over my shoulder as i walked out. it was probably best not to mention this to anyone, not until i knew what it was. it was unheard of, magic without wands, especially in the way i was doing it. i wasn't sure if i could keep it completely quiet though, i felt like i would burst if i didn't tell anyone. i made it back to the dorm, and to my relief emma and lily weren't here. emma must have came back and dragged lily off somewhere. i checked the corridor up and down, seeing it was empty and decided to test the waters again.

i sat on my bed, focusing my eyes hard on the door. i focused so hard that my eyes began to stream, but i didn't even notice. nothing was happening, no tingles, no heat, no nothing. i was sobering up now, and earlier i could easily have imagined it. it wasn't uncommon when i was under the influence for me to see things. i sighed, reaching into my drawer and pulling out the bottle of firewhiskey i'd started keeping there. i'd never really been a big drinker, but it was easier to get than drugs and it took the edge off between fixes. i took a sip, feeling the familiar burning in my throat before tucking the bottle back in the drawer.